


Lucifer's Plan

by InGodzHandz



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:35:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 38,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23021077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InGodzHandz/pseuds/InGodzHandz
Summary: Originally started by Dinobot King and me on FanFiction.net in 2018 as Satan's Plan since we didn't know Lucifer and Satan were supposed to be separate characters yet.  Anyways...Unable to accept his daughter's rebellion, Lucifer decides to have another child to replace her.  But since Lilith won't cooperate, Lucifer forces another succubus to stand in as his concubine.  Charlie's former nanny and former biblical villainess Delilah!  When Sir Pentious is forced to become Lucifer's spy, he and Delilah must rely on each other to survive Lucifer and possibly find romance and redemption along the way.FYI: Satan is Lucifer in this story.  I'm just far too lazy to go back and change it.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. The Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Satan is Lucifer in this story. I started writing this in 2018 back when I didn't know they were separate entities in this universe. Delilah is the Philistine prostitute from the Book of Judges who betrayed her lover, the Hebrew judge and hero Samson.

Satan returned to his castle continuing to cope with the fact that his only daughter, his princess whom he had created had betrayed him to start rehabilitating sinners.   
He stood in his bathroom trying to hold back his angry tears and cursing God for what felt like forever.  
“That ungrateful girl,” Satan muttered under his breath. “After everything I did for her. She lived a life of comfort. I taught her everything and gave her everything she wanted. I would even sneak on earth to get her Broadway soundtracks, for all those musicals with disgustingly meaningful and happy endings. I even forced the local school to name her Prom Queen on her senior year when she was homeschooled. Charlotte could have just let me and Lilith celebrate her achievement with a simple hunt, but no, she wanted to be like all the other kids. I even let her have the damn party in the castle, and the servants are still cleaning cake from the ballroom. Oh, that spoiled little girl. Where did I go wrong? What do I do now?"  
He scratched his chin, and thought to himself about the current situation he had. Convincing Charlie to abandon her project had failed. On one hand, he could try convincing Charlotte to abandon her project again, but she wasn’t changing her mind. On the other hand, he could convince his wife to give him another child, so he could do better next time. The latter sounded more appealing.  
“I love you, Charlotte, but you leave me no choice,” Satan said with a sad smile that quickly turned into a perverted smirk. “Speaking of which…"  
He fixed himself up. He straightened his suit, ate a breath mint, and summoned up a bouquet of fake indigo flowers, Lilith’s favorites. Satan then grabbed a mirror and made sure there was nothing on his teeth. He smiled. He was ready for mating season.   
Satan tapped his cane on the floor and teleported outside his bedroom door. After a deep breath, he reached for the door, and as he opened it, he spotted his wife Lilith, the Queen of Hell, the mother of Charlie, a fallen angel as ancient as he was, leader of the succubi who tempt by night.  
Lilith was sitting down in her chair by the fireplace drinking tea while reading a newspaper.  
"Why hello, my dear," Satan said as he approached her with the flowers behind his back.   
Lilith did not move as she turned a page. Satan cleared his throat, but she didn’t respond. He cleared his throat even more loudly, but she would not even look at him.  
“Oh, sugar pie,” Satan said seductively.  
"I'm not speaking to you, Satan," Lilith said coldly.  
"Why not?!" Satan argued.  
"You made Charlie cry," Lilith said angrily.  
"I did no such thing," Satan lied before Lilith revealed in the newspaper a photograph of Charlie crying near the burning hotel.  
"Oh, don't you hate fake news?" Satan replied without changing his smile.  
Lilith stood up, tossed the newspaper on the chair, put her hands on her hips, and said, “Why would you hurt our daughter?"  
“Do you know what Charlotte did behind our backs? She has opened a hotel to rehabilitate sinners, Lilith! One of us had to get in her face and tell her how things work around here, so as her father, it had to be me. I tried to get her to listen to reason, but she refused and has chosen to be disowned. She’s now a regular child of God,” Satan snarled. “But don’t worry. She’s safe and sound and so is that stupid project of hers.”  
Satan then began to fake cry for sympathy and continued as he presented Lilith the fake bouquet, “I'm hurt, Lilith. Our own flesh and blood just left us. Oh, if only there was a way to fill the gap."  
“Oh, Satan,” Lilith gushed as she smelled the flowers. “These are my favorites…What? They’re fake.”  
The flowers burst into flames in Lilith’s hand as she said, “You lazy ass. You couldn’t even go to earth to pick up some real flowers?”  
“Oh, right…” Satan said chuckling nervously. “I forgot they were fakes. Well, to make it up to you, I can have the servants make us a special dinner…”  
Satan took her hand, but Lilith shook it out of her grasp.  
“What do you want, Satan?” Lilith asked as she dropped the last pieces of the disintegrated flowers.   
"Oh, you know…" Satan said using his fingers to climb his wife’s shoulders before she slapped his hands away.   
"My answer is no," Lilith said as she sat back down and read the paper.  
"But dear Lilith, sweetheart, we have lost our Antichrist. You know what that means. Don't you?" Satan he said as he wiggled his brows. “We must have a replacement.”  
"Satan, I promised myself that I would never carry another child. I have given birth to Charlie and she is our daughter, the last child I'll ever have,” she said as she continued reading.  
"But Lilith she betrayed us, and she wouldn't listen to reason,” Satan whined while he took off his coat and his shirt. “Charlotte doesn’t understand why she should enjoy the misery of others. She hates it. She hates it so much she is trying to save them. She actually seems to enjoy spending time with the damned. She called them her friends. I don’t know where I went wrong. Maybe it’s because I didn’t make her come with me when I tortured people. Maybe it’s because I was too lenient. I just know God had something to do with it. It’s just like him to turn my plans on their head and lure people away with the light whenever I’m not paying attention. That’s why we have to replace her. So, do your wifely duty and let’s get to work!”  
“What’s wrong with letting the child do what she wants?” Lilith asked without looking at him. “Does it really matter that much if a few sinners go to God? It’s not like you’re running low. You cull them out yearly anyway. So what if a few sinners go to heaven instead of the Lake of Fire? I know you’re not taking your clothes off.”  
Satan stepped back for a second as Lilith threw the paper down, crossed her arms, and glared at him from her seat. He realized he needed to take a different approach.   
“Oh, Lilith, my dear,” Satan purred as he came up behind her and started rubbing her back. “You must be so stressed. I mean your career is taking you places, and you are saddened that your only child has left the nest. I get it. You must feel so lonely."   
Satan’s rubs started turning into caresses which made Lilith start to relax.  
“We don’t really get much time with just each other,” he said softly right next to her ear. “Now that Charlotte is out of the house you must be lonely."   
Satan began rubbing her shoulders causing her to moan.   
“That’s it, Lilith,” Satan said. “Just relax. How about you go take a shower? I'll go to the kitchen to prepare a little cocktail drinks. You put on that skinny burgundy dress you wore at our honeymoon, and once I get to our room, we'll get busy."   
Lilith was enjoying his temptation, but he forgot that she had been tempting about as long as he had.   
"Can you do something for me tonight?" she cooed.  
"Yes, anything, my dear" he said leaning his ear over to hers.  
"Don't touch me for the rest of eternity!" Lilith yelled out in frustration as she slapped Satan across the face leaving long claw scratches.  
"Oh, so that's how you want to play, huh?" Satan said as he rubbed his cheek without changing his smile.   
Lilith glared back at him and said, “Don’t you dare…”  
Then outside of the master bedroom, the Magne Family's servants heard a loud crash and sounds of growling and screeching.  
“Dagon, they’re at it again,” said Delilah.  
“Should we try to break it up?” Granda asked.  
Then came the shouts from the Magne couple.  
“You belong to me, and I command you to spread your legs!” Satan screeched.  
“I’d rather get screwed by Hades!” Lilith screeched back.   
“Want me to call him?” Satan asked sarcastically. “We can have a threesome.”  
“You just want the help because you’re too upset to handle me on your own,” Lilith replied. “You’re pathetic. I’ve seen weaker demons dominate their females.”  
“You ain’t seen nothing yet!” Satan howled.  
“We don’t get paid enough for this,” another maid named Bulash commented.  
“Do you wanna bet on the winner?” asked Melissa. “I have coupons to the pharmacy if you know what I mean.”  
“Yes,” Delilah said. “How about this? We’ll bet on whether or not Satan gets kicked out…”  
Back in the bedroom, everything was a mess. Lilith and Satan’s clothes were a bit ripped, and they were circling each other like animals fighting for dominance.  
"You are going to carry me another child whether you want it or not!" Satan said wielding his staff.  
"I've already gave you one so deal with it" Lilith said bluntly as she prepared her claws.  
Satan charged to grab her, but Lilith evaded him.  
"You just can't get it through your thick skull,” Satan hissed. “I married you, so I own you.”  
He struck with his staff, but Lilith blocked the attack with her hair that grabbed the staff and threw it against the door spooking the staff on the other side.  
“I am your wife, not your dog,” Lilith snarled as Satan finally managed to grab her arm.   
“You’re right,” Satan said sweeping under her legs causing her to fall on top of the bed and telekinetically tying her hands and feet to the bedpost with the blankets before he launched himself on top of her.   
Lilith continued struggling as her husband’s face moved until it was inches from hers and he said in a sadistic tone, “You’re my breeding sow, and I’m the boar in heat.”  
Satan started kissing her lips and massaging her hips while he telekinetically started undoing his pants. He was about to do the dirty deed when Lilith used all her strength to break a bedpost off with one hand and strike Satan with it. Then when the Devil was stunned, she used her hair to throw Satan against the door so hard that it fell down.  
The maids had just enough time to barely get out of the way. They trembled in fear. Lilith had taken out Satan.  
Satan quickly pulled his pants up, stood up, summoned all his other clothes back to him, straightened up his outfit, called back his staff, and snarled angrily, “Forget it! I’ll have a child with another woman!”  
“Go ahead,” Lilith spat back from inside the room. “See if I care.”  
Satan then turned around and saw the maids trembling behind him. He flashed a smile and then winked.   
The maids all ran away, but Satan picked one out of the group, picked her up telekinetically, and pulled her over to where he was. She was a white demon with white wings covered in black splotches and black hair that was cut short. She was pretty enough. She would do.  
"Your majesty, please!" she yelled. "Don't drag me into this! I don't want you!"  
"I never said you had a choice, Delilah. Even though you only work here, I own you,” Satan purred dropping her into his arms before he yelled at his wife. “I’m going to do it with Delilah! If you need me, we’ll be in the guest room. If our child is a boy, I’ll name him after your ex-husband.”  
"Whatever!" Lilith replied before she teleported over to the door with a smug smile. “No child she reproduces will ever be as cute or as powerful as Charlie. Besides, you won’t be satisfied. That damned puppy doesn’t have my features.”  
Lilith swayed her breasts and her hips seductively to get on her husband’s nerves.  
“Shut up!” Satan replied ignoring his new lover’s struggles to escape his arms. “You’re just jealous. I’m about to make her scream so much that you’ll be begging to join us.”  
“Good luck,” Lilith said as Satan carried his prize bridal style down the hall to the guest room before she turned to the other maids. “Clean up the mess.”  
“Yes, ma’am,” the other maids replied as they nervously got to work.  
Meanwhile, Satan kept walking and completely ignored Delilah’s struggle to escape. When they reached their destination, he telekinetically threw open the door, stepped inside, telekinetically locked the door behind him, and laid Delilah on the bed.   
Even if Delilah was Satan’s property, she did not want to bear his child. When Satan turned away for a second to turn down the lights, she tried to bolt past him to reach the window, but he caught her by the arm and threw her back on the bed.  
Satan climbed on top of Delilah, pinned her down, began stroking her face, and said quietly, “Hush, now, my little Philistine whore. I have a proposition for you. You who betrayed Samson, I know how you love riches, so how about this? If you bear me a child, I will make you my wife in place of Lilith. You’d be Hell’s new queen. You’d have more than just a child. You’d have more wealth than you could ever imagine. You’d never have to sell your body or clean again. How does that sound?”  
Deborah relaxed onto the bed and said with a sensual smirk, “That sounds good.”  
Satan smiled back and started getting to work. Delilah melted into the bed as his lips touched hers and his hands began untying the lacy ribbons of her corset.   
When the dirty deed was done, he looked into her womb to see if a child had been conceived. One had not been. There were many serious drawbacks to not having the power to create life from nothing.  
"What's the matter?" Delilah asked nervously from under the blankets.  
"Delilah, dear, your company was pleasing, but your womb is empty," Satan said disappointedly getting himself dressed. "You won't be my queen after all. At least, not yet."  
"I see," Delilah said as Satan finished pulling on his clothes.   
“Don’t worry, dear,” Satan replied before he knelt over the bed and kissed her on the cheek before he walked to the door. “Since you showed me such a good time, you will be my new concubine.”  
Before Delilah had time to react, Satan exited the room and telekinetically bolted the door shut from the outside.  
Delilah grabbed a blanket to cover herself, ran over to the door, and tried the door. It wouldn’t budge.   
“Your majesty…?” Delilah asked in a panic. “What…? Why is the…?”  
“The bathroom should have everything you need,” Satan said from the other side of the door. “Take a bath or shower yourself off while I get the cooks to prepare us some refreshments. I’ll be back as soon as I find you something to wear that’s a little more comfortable. Until then, rest up for Round Two, dear.”  
Satan heard Delilah back away from the door and sniffle quietly to herself. Then unfortunately for him, he heard the sound of the window creaking, glass breaking, and wings flapping.  
“Idiot,” Satan said facepalming in frustration. “You forgot to bolt the window. You’re better than mistakes like that…Oh, well. I have other women who can give me a child…”  
Satan smirked to himself in a mirror in the hall and said, “And pleasure.”  
He walked down the stairs and yelled, “Granda! Bulash! Melissa! Where are you?! You can take the rest of the night off because we are having an orgy. First one to bear me a child wins!”  
Satan dropped his coat and threw off his shirt, but there was nothing but silence.  
“Tisk, tisk, tisk,” Lilith mocked as she walked down the stairs. “You really don’t know when to stop. Do you?”  
“And you don’t know your place,” Satan retorted tightly gripping his staff. “I need the other maids. Where are they?”  
“What? You didn’t enjoy Delilah’s company?” Lilith asked stopping right in front of him.   
“I did actually,” Satan bragged. “Delilah was quite delightful. She was hesitant at first, but she calmed down pretty quickly when I promised her your place. She didn’t conceive the first time, but I liked her enough to make her my concubine so we could try again.”  
“But she ran away. Didn’t she? How did that happen? Did you forget to bolt all the exits?”  
“Shut up! Where are the other maids?”  
“You’re making too many miscalculations today, love. You’re not thinking clearly.”  
Satan’s eyes burned with an angry fire and his voice distorted as he asked, “This is the last time I’m going to ask you, woman! Where are the other maids?!”  
“I let them go,” Lilith replied without hesitation.  
“What?!” Satan asked as his eyes lit up with fire before his face relaxed into a lustful smile as he leaned on her shoulder. “Oh, I see. You changed your mind. If you want me to forgive you, I suggest you bend down right now…"  
Satan slapped her backside, but Lilith growled and flipped Satan onto his back.   
“You are not sleeping in my bed tonight or for the rest of eternity until you accept Charlie for who she is!” Lilith yelled.  
“WHAT?!” Satan snarled as he telekinetically lifted himself up to her eye level. “You can't kick me out of bed! I made the bed! I introduced you to the bed! I carried you to the bed on our wedding night! I dominate you on the bed! I built and I own this house!"  
Lilith smirked at him and simply said, “That was before you got married.”  
Then she teleported away.  
Satan landed on the ground and yelled, “Uugghh! Fine! After everything I do for this family, I get nothing in return! YOU HEAR ME?!! NOTHING!!!"  
He then stomped over to the couch and laid down on top of it while figuring out what to do next.  
“Well, that didn’t go as planned,” Satan said to himself. “At this rate, I might have to bed every succubus in hell. There has to be a better way to fix this.”  
He picked up the remote and switched on his TV to catch up on the news.  
"This just in the daughter of the Devil has been sponsored by the notable, and the feared Radio Demon, Alastor" said Katie Killjoy.   
“That is right, Kate. Several Demons have flocked in to get a firsthand experience of what locals call ‘a big waste of time,’” Tom Trench said. “We tried getting an interview with Alastor to find the reason behind this sudden generosity, but he declined to comment. Now for the weather…”  
Satan growled as his eyes lit up on fire. He was about to break the TV in frustration when he came up with an idea, an awful, terrible, despicable idea.  
“That’s it,” Satan said. “I’ll give out so many temptations that no demon will ever be redeemed. Then next year when the exterminators kill those little maggots, Charlie will come crawling back home.”  
Satan could imagine it all in his head. Charlie would beg him to take her back. He would take her in without hesitation as long as she agreed to let him desensitize her to the suffering of others. He would mold her into his perfect little Antichrist. Everything would be perfect.   
Satan cackled loudly to himself, sat up, and said, “God will not steal you from me too, Charlotte. I will not allow it…Wait…No, I can’t do this. If Charlotte found out what I was doing, she would hate me forever. There has to be another way.”  
He looked at the television and saw a clip of Sir Pentious fighting Cherri Bomb.   
Satan smiled as another plan began forming.


	2. Sir Pentious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind that this was written in 2018.

On the outskirts of the Pentagram City laid the mansion of Hell’s notable kingpin Sir Pentious. Within, the snake demon and Victorian era inventor was sulking after losing another battle in his conquest to conquer Hell.

His latest attempt was causing an artificial extermination with a weaponized blimp to gain territory by force. What stood in his way was his arch rival Cherri Bomb. He was foiled when Angel Dust helped her fight the Egg Bois.

To make himself feel better, Sir Pentious was playing “Toccata Fugue in D Minor” backwards while his minions were sitting on the floor as his audience and struggling to stay awake.

When Sir Pentious finished, he waited for an applause and heard nothing but snoring.

Sir Pentious turned around and hissed as loudly as he could causing the Egg Bois to wake up and start clapping as much as they could.

“That’s better,” Sir Pentious said out loud in his Victorian British accent as he snapped and got one of his minions to hand him a mirror. 

He grabbed the mirror, admired his reflection, stroked his frill, and said, “Look at this perfection. Not even Adonis could compare to thee. One day, you’ll have all of Hell’s applauses and then you’ll really bang up to the elephant. If only that wagtail and her drag queen itsy-bitsy didn’t get in my way…”

Sir Pentious squeezed the mirror in his hand until it shattered into pieces. Three Egg Bois immediately got to work cleaning it up.

“I would’ve…” he continued and then repeated when his minions didn’t give him the response he wanted. “I would’ve…”

“Oh, taken over Hell,” said the Egg Boi holding the dust pan. 

“Brought Hell into another Victorian Era,” said the one holding the broom.

“And become the new Devil,” said the one holding the waste basket.

Sir Pentious finally turned around again and said, “Yes! And I’d do a better job than that goody two-shoes princess who came to Bomb and Dust’s defense…”

He growled and continued, “Oh, how that little chit irritates me! I don’t understand why any father would let their daughter be this rebellious. In the old days, she’d be locked up for female hysteria.”

Sir Pentious then snapped his fingers again and had a fainting couch brought to him. He stretched out across it while throwing off his coat and his bowtie. 

“But one day when I have enough support, I’ll overthrow the entire Magne family,” Sir Pentious said as he snapped his fingers again to summon another Egg Boi to give him a back massage. “Oh, I swear. Hell will be mine once I gain some more territory next year. I’ll be able to overthrow Satan for sure once I gain a larger army of demons. I’d be happy to take his job. He’s too much of a coward. Unwilling to go against the boundaries God laid out for him. Unwilling to go all the way to completely bring the world into darkness. He and that daughter of his will sod off. The only one who’ll stay is that fine bird who reigns with him…OW! Hey! Not so hard!”

“Sorry, boss,” the Egg Boi said meekly.

“On the day Satan is gone, his wife will be all mine,” Sir Pentious said with a perverted smile. “And I’ll partake of that fruitful vine day and night…Uh, a little to the right on the shoulder blades.”

The Egg Boi obeyed and he continued, “I can just imagine her beautiful body against mine, her golden hair wrapped around my fingers, my tail wrapped around that soft waist. She’ll be all mine. I’ll end that career of hers. No one will be allowed to see that beautiful body, except me…OW!”

The Egg Boi massaging him had run down his back, over his head, and over to the other side of the couch.

“Hey!” Sir Pentious growled as he sat up on his elbows and glared at his minions. “What’s eatin’ you?”

The Egg Bois were huddled together and trembling violently.

“What is it?!” Sir Pentious yelled. 

They couldn’t bring themselves to speak, but one of them pointed behind the snake demon.

Sir Pentious quickly pulled on his coat and his bow tie, stood up, sharpened his claws, and snarled, “What demon would dare to enter my home?!”

He turned around and every eye on his body opened widely as he screamed and crawled backwards off the couch he was leaning on. Leaning on his elbows on the top of the fainting couch was the very pale-skinned, rosy-cheeked being Sir Pentious had insulted. 

Satan’s unamused expression twisted into a smile and he stood up walking towards Sir Pentious saying, “Don’t worry, Sir Pentious. It is only me, your king. Now, what was this you were saying about my wife?”

Sir Pentious stood up, slithered backwards, and stammered, “S-S-Sire, I-I-I-I didn’t mean any of that...”

He quickly looked over his shoulder and yelled, “What are you mulling about for? We have a guest!”

The Egg Bois snapped out of their fear paralysis and quickly assembled a table, two chairs, and a tea cart.

“Would you like some tea, your highness?” Sir Pentious asked nervously.

Satan nodded and sat himself down in one of the chairs. 

An Egg Boi started to push the tea cart towards him, but Satan telekinetically lifted the Egg Boi and said, “I’ll be serving myself. This poor fool is so scared out of his wits he’ll only spill the tea all over me.”

Then he telekinetically tossed the Egg Boi into his comrades who groaned in pain without breaking while Sir Pentious said, “A wise decision, your highness.”

Satan then telekinetically served himself the tea with a cube of sugar and bit of cream and said, “When you’ve been doing this as long as I have, you learn to expect certain things from people. They are all quite predictable. Speaking of which…Seems like you had a busy day after the most recent Extermination.”

“Oh, that?” Sir Pentious said nervously. “Oh, no, no, no…A rival and I were simply fighting over some land that I found first. Isn’t that right, Bois?”

The Egg Bois nodded their heads nervously.

“Whatever you say,” Satan replied rolling his eyes.

“Anyway, what brings you here today, your majesty?” Sir Pentious asked. “Are you interested in my new work? I’d be glad to sell you some of my work for a price. But for a price, half-off. You could even have a hammer as a bonus.”

Satan placed his tea cup on the table in front of him and said, “I'm not here for your doohickeys or your thingamajigs, and your flattery bores me. So, you can stop kissing my ass like the dog that you are…”

The Egg Bois looked at their boss who continued smiling even though his eyes were twitching.

Satan leaned back in his chair, raised an eyebrow at the snake demon, and said, “What makes you think you could ever be the Devil, Sir Pentious? It’s not an easy job to be constantly in rebellion against God and his forces of good. Sometimes, you need assistance, which leads me to the reason for my visit. I’m sure you know about the project my daughter is working on. I know you’ve met her. The goody-two-shoes?”

“Oh, no,” Sir Pentious pleaded. “I meant she was too good for shoes. Loyal demons should be able to kiss her feet.”

“Hmmmm…. yeah,” Satan said sarcastically. “Anyway, I hardly need to explain why this hotel of hers undermines my entire mission. I need you to help me bring it down. You will spy on the hotel as a mole and gather as much information as you can on hotel’s budget, capacity, and guests.”

“Then with your extended knowledge, we, I mean, you can use it to your advantage! It’s brilliant!” Sir Pentious said before he bit his lip again.

“Yes, and in addition, I will need your minions to help me spread temptations around Hell’s Nine Circles,” Satan said looking at the Egg Bois who were shaking nervously.

He smirked at them cruelly, let his eyes glow red, muttered something in ancient Hebrew, and ended it with a “Boo!”

The Egg Bois panicked and started screaming while running around in circles. Satan chuckled under his breath. 

“Enough!” Sir Pentious commanded causing the Egg Bois to line up.

Once they had calmed down, Sir Pentious said, “You know, your evilness, your brilliant plan might be how you say an interference with my useless time. I will require some compensation in return for my services.”

Satan’s eyes twitched in anger before he smirked evilly, teleported in front of the snake demon, grabbed Sir Pentious by the collar of his coat causing the latter to tremble uncontrollably and shake off his hat, and said, “Well, then. Let’s negotiate. Shall we?”

Before Sir Pentious could react, the Devil telekinetically threw open the doors leading to Sir Pentious’ outside stone patio, unleashed his black fallen angel’s wings, and flew outside into the sky with the snake demon in his grasp. 

Sir Pentious screamed loudly as Satan flew so high that Pentagram City was out of sight by the time he finally stopped. 

“So, you wanted to negotiate?” Satan asked cruelly before dropping the snake demon.

Sir Pentious screamed even louder as he plummeted towards the ground. He tried using his frill as a parachute, but his body was simply too heavy. He looked up and realized that Satan had closed his wings and was falling upside down next to him.

“Hmmm…” Satan said scratching his chin nonchalantly. “Just what could I give you to compensate for your time? I don’t know. It sounds cheap, but I think your soul’s present existence should be good enough. But then again, if you want to bargain, I know of a cool spot in the Lake of Fire…”

As the ground came into sight, Sir Pentious begged, “Alright! Alright! I’ll do it for you free of charge!”

The Egg Bois pulled out a trampoline for their boss to land on, but he knew he was falling to quickly to land on it. 

“Save me, please!” Sir Pentious yelled at the top of his lungs just as he approached the trampoline and closed all his eyes to brace for impact.

Satan grabbed the snake demon’s tail and flew in place for a moment. When Sir Pentious finally opened his eyes, Satan dropped him on the trampoline.

The Egg Bois lowered Sir Pentious to the ground while Satan landed on the ground, absorbed his wings, and said, “Any more questions?”

The Eggs Bois who weren’t helping their hyperventilating boss to his feet swiveled around and covered their eyes, ears, and mouths.

“Good,” Satan continued while pulling a huge bundle of flyers from his coat. “Now, while some of you go with Sir Pentious to spy on the Happy Hotel, the rest of you will pass out these flyers around the nine circles to inform the other demons of new temptations that they should indulge in by the end of the day…”

Satan dropped those flyers on the ground, manifested hundreds of other flyers, and said, “If any of these flyers are left by tonight, I will personally bash your heads in and use my staff as a fork while I eat you for breakfast tomorrow morning. Now, GO! MOVE IT!”

The Egg Bois grabbed all the flyers as quickly as they could and disappeared out the door within seconds. 

As the Egg Bois finally got Sir Pentious to his metaphorical feet, Satan walked over to him, cupped his chin, and said, “I’m so glad we could reach an agreement. It’s a pleasure doing business with you, Sir Pentious. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have another defiant little bitch I need to put in her place. Ta ta!” 

Satan winked at him before he teleported away.

When Sir Pentious was alone with his Egg Bois again, he growled and hissed at the same time as loudly as he could muster.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: This chapter contains physical and sexual violence and emotional abuse. If that type of content brings back bad memories or disturbs you, I suggest you proceed with caution.

Meanwhile, Delilah had flown away as far as she could. The white and black-splotched demon had just managed to grab her clothes and escape the Devil’s clutches, for now anyway.

“I can’t believe it,” Delilah said with her slight Philistine accent she had never lost. “Lock me away and use me for pleasure like I’m still some kind of whore. After all I did for them, what did I do to deserve this?”

Delilah couldn’t hold it in anymore. She landed on the roof of some unknown building in Pentagram City and let herself cry. She had just lost her job, and she had no family or friends to turn to, not even among the other maids. Delilah was as alone in hell as she was for most of her life on earth, and she had lived this way for almost 3,000 years.

When Delilah had shed all her tears, she hopped down from the building and pulled on her long red leather jacket over her wings which helped cover her black corset, her black knee-length skirt, her fish-net stockings, and black boots that made up her uniform. The only indication of her Philistine heritage was her gold arm band on her right arm.

The soiled dove demon wandered around until she reached a local dive bar called “Macadam’s Cider House.” Delilah reached into her pocket and found her small sack of money. 

“A drink couldn’t hurt,” Delilah muttered bitterly to herself.

As she entered the bar, she saw a large crowd of demons sitting around at tables drinking exotic alcoholic beverages, smoking from different types of hookahs, and vaping different flavors from their pens. Delilah sighed in relief. It would be a good place to disappear for a while.

The succubus sat down at an empty stool, laid her head down on top of her arms, and waited for a chance to catch the bartender’s attention. 

Unfortunately, before too long, Delilah felt someone’s eyes staring her down. She looked to her left and saw a green fox demon wearing a tuxedo looking at her lustfully. She ignored him and turned her head the other way. 

“Hey, baby,” the fox demon said. “Can I buy you a drink?”

Delilah rolled her golden eyes and said without looking at him, “I have more than enough money to take care of myself. Thanks.”

“I was talking about a different kind of drink,” the fox demon said lustfully grabbing her arms. “Come on. Let’s have fun back at my place.”

“I’m not in the mood for anyone else’s shit today, junior!” Delilah yelled freeing one of her hands and releasing her claws. “Fuck off!”

All of a sudden, the green fox demon let her go and went flying into one of the tables.

“You heard the lady!” said a familiar deep voice. 

After giving one terrified look, the fox demon bolted out of the bar. The other patrons were similarly stunned.

“Thank you,” Delilah said turning to thank her rescuer before her small smile melted away into terror.

Satan was there towering menacingly above her.

He growled while approaching her, “You can thank me by giving me that second round that I promised you personally. Oh, and I want it dirty…”

Delilah took one glance at the exit and made a run for it. As soon as she bolted out the doors, she pulled her red jacket off and flew away again. 

Once Delilah flew a considerable distance without seeing any sign of Satan, she landed in an alley to catch her breath. Delilah clutched her jacket nervously as she looked around for any sign of the Devil. She looked up and down the alley and out into the street. No sign of him.

“Looks like I lost him,” Delilah said turning back into the alley.

“Think again,” Satan said with a chuckle appearing out of nowhere. 

Delilah gasped, and Satan took the opportunity to kiss her opened mouth. As he kept kissing her, he forcefully pinned her to the wall so that she couldn’t escape. Delilah froze in fear as Satan continued making out with her, massaging her hips, and then moving on to licking her cheeks. 

He licked her ear and then whispered cruelly, “You’re quick on your feet, but you forgot something very important, my little Philistine whore. Since we mated…”

Satan stuck his nose into Delilah’s hair deeply inhaling her scent before continuing, “I’ve memorized your scent. That means that I can track you anywhere you go in the Nine Circles. Oh, and one more thing…”

He slapped her so hard that she fell on the ground in front of him with a whimper. All Delilah could do was rub the sore spot and try to hide her tears.

Satan pointed his staff in her face and said threateningly, “If you ever defy me again, I’ll ravish you so hard that by the time you conceive my child you’ll have no trouble squeezing it out! Never run away from me ever again or I’ll make you wish you were back at the brothel I found you in! Do you understand?!”

All Delilah could do was timidly nod her head. After a few seconds, she picked up her jacket and tried to get to her feet. Without hesitation, Satan offered her his hand and pulled her back up to her feet.

“Father?!” Satan and Delilah heard Charlie’s familiar soft voice say. “What are you doing here?!” 

They turned around to see her with Vaggie and Angel Dust carrying a bunch of fliers from across the street. 

Charlie looked both ways before she crossed the street and her friends reluctantly followed behind her. 

Satan’s smile dropped for a second before he leaned on Delilah’s face and whispered threateningly in ancient Philistine, “Do not squeal to my daughter or I’ll make you squeal even louder tonight.”

Charlie heard the whispering and looked at her father suspiciously. Angel Dust looked at Delilah’s frightened eyes averting his gaze and recognized what was happening immediately.

“Father, and Delilah?!” Charlie squealed excitedly at seeing her former nanny. “What are you two doing out here? Why aren’t you at home? Were you fighting with Mother? You have scratches on your face.”

“It’s no big deal, darling. Delilah and I were just having a stroll,” Satan lied turning away the side of his face that had the scratches. “You know. Just enjoying the outdoors…”

“Out here in one of the most unsanitary parts of Pentagram city?” Vaggie interrupted sarcastically not caring about offending the Devil.

Angel gripped her shoulder to tell her to hush. While Charlie continued, Vaggie looked up at him and Angel gestured his head towards Delilah. When Vaggie saw Delilah’s face, she recognized the look, too.

“So, what are you three doing here, Charlotte?” Satan asked while adjusting his hat.

Charlie awkwardly searched for the right words before finally pulling out a poster. 

“We’re putting up promotional posters for the hotel,” Charlie said cautiously. “Since the Radio Demon decided to be our sponsor, we’ve decided to put these posters up all around the less aggressive circles and…”

Satan snatched the poster out of her hand, looked it over, looked back at Charlie, and lit the flyer on fire in his hand before causing the flyers in Vaggie and Angel’s hands to do the same. The two had to drop the flyers on the ground as they burned in front of them. Angel had to hold Vaggie back from attacking the Devil.

Charlie’s expression fell as she yelled, “Father, why….?!”

“I told you, Charlotte,” Satan said grabbing Delilah’s hand and pulling her behind him as he walked past his daughter. “We are now enemies. Goodbye.”

Without saying another word, Satan teleported away with Delilah.

Charlie stood there on the verge of tears while Vaggie hugged her to show her support.

“We have more at the hotel,” Vaggie said. “Don’t worry about him.”

“You’re right,” Charlie said. “We can still do this!”

“Who was that dame with your father?” Angel asked.

“Oh, that was Delilah,” Charlie said. “She used to nanny me when I was a child. She would tell me all kinds of stories from when she was alive, especially about Samson…”

“Wait, she’s that Delilah?” Angel asked his expression falling in disbelief. “The prostitute from Judges? Mother of God…”

“Yeah, she’s the one, but she was never ever mean to me,” Charlie replied. “I wonder why she was with my father.”

“I hate to tell ya this, kid, but I think your daddy’s abusing your nanny,” Angel said with a sadly sympathetic look in his eyes. “I’ve seen her look millions of times. She’s scared.”

“I hate to say this, but I have to agree with Angel on this one,” Vaggie said. 

“No, I’m sure it’s something else,” Charlie said defensively with an unsure grin. “My father is heartless, but usually when he wants to cause misery, he does it without force…most of the time.”

“Sure,” Vaggie said comfortingly. “I’m sure he’s just mad about the hotel.”

“Still,” Angel said walking past the two ladies. “I wouldn’t put it past him.” 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at Sir Pentious’ mansion, the snake demon was spying on the Happy Hotel with his latest invention, a little crawling drone inside the lobby. Within the hotel, a small crowd of demons was talking to each other.

“Grrrrr!” Sir Pentious groaned out loud while maneuvering his spy mechanics. “This is humiliating! I work day and night back in England and improve on Da Vinci’s original designs only to be forced to become an unbearable lackey…Uh…no offense.”

“None taken, boss,” said an Egg Boi sitting next to Sir Pentious on the arm of his desk chair.

Meanwhile, another Egg Boi who was packing suitcases for himself, two other minions, and Sir Pentious asked, “So, what do we do now, boss?”

“Well, I’ve managed to look into the hotel’s exterior and…oh, great,” Sir Pentious groaned while slapping his face in frustration.

“What’s the matter, boss?” the Egg Boi packing the suitcase asked. 

“The princess is singing that damned song again,” Sir Pentious complained. “Not every demon has a rainbow inside of them, you annoying little twit.”

While Sir Pentious continued his rant, the doors to his office opened.

“Uh, boss?” the Egg Boi sitting next to him said nervously.

“I can’t believe I’m going to have to put up with you and your father pulling my tail,” Sir Pentious ranted. 

“Boss?”

“I swear, one day, I’ll skin you alive. I will.”

“BOSS?!”

“What is it?!” Sir Pentious finally looked up from his camera feed and saw a white demon with black splotches on her wings and short black hair standing in the doorway. 

His eyes opened all over his body at the sight of her beauty. Sir Pentious was overwhelmed. His heart beat faster and he felt like fainting.

“Good heavens, who are you?” Sir Pentious muttered before someone much more menacing came up behind her, pushed her out of the way, and approached the frightened snake demon standing behind his desk. 

“Satan, please, I didn’t mean what I – ACK!” Sir Pentious managed to get out before the Devil grabbed him and suspended him by his neck.

The Egg Boi at Sir Pentious’ neck hopped off the arm of the chair and ran behind the door.

“Remember who you are working for, or else, I will personally rip off your skin and make it into boots,” Satan threatened. “Never insult my daughter again. Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Sir Pentious squeaked out as Satan slammed his head onto his desk and let go of his neck.

Sir Pentious coughed for a solid minute before he finally started to breathe normally. Satan held Delilah against his side and caressed her waist while they waited. Delilah shrank back at his touch while watching Sir Pentious with a great deal of concern behind her eyes.

“Who…is…she?” Sir Pentious asked between breaths. 

Satan let go of Delilah, walked over to Sir Pentious’ desk, and said, “That is none of your concern. All you need to know is that she is mine and she will be living here until further notice. Treat her well, and as ‘payment,’ you can use her as long as you use protection. Now, I have other work to attend to, but before I do…”

Satan stretched back his hand, grabbed Delilah’s wrist, pulled her next to him, and continued, “I’m going to spend the night here. Tell me. Where is the nearest bedroom?”

Having finally caught his breath, Sir Pentious said, “I do not have any guest rooms, your majesty.”

“What about your room and our barracks?” the Egg Boi hiding behind the door asked before Sir Pentious shot him a threatening glare to silence him.

“Sire, you couldn’t possibly sleep in my…” Sir Pentious began to say before Satan took his hand and shook it aggressively.

“We’ll be happy to sleep in your room,” Satan said as he gripped the snake demon’s hand so tightly that he began to wince from the pain.

Satan let go, pointed his staff at the Egg Boi behind the door, and said, “You, show me your master’s room.”

“Uhhh…” the Egg Boi said looking at his boss for confirmation.

Sir Pentious painfully waved his hand while gripping his injured arm. 

“Okay, follow me,” the Egg Boi said leading Satan down the hall. 

Satan waved his hand at his concubine and said, “I’ll be back, Delilah. Don’t go anywhere.”

Satan then left the two demons alone.

Sir Pentious tried to push through the pain, but his hand was badly bruised. Delilah looked at him and began carefully walking around the desk towards him.

“Are you alright?” Delilah asked.

Sir Pentious hissed in response and took off his glove to see the deep bruises on his hand. It would take forever for this wound to heal.

“Let me take a look at it, please,” Delilah offered taking another step closer.

Sir Pentious growled even louder, and when Delilah took another step closer, he wrapped his tail around her white body. 

The other Egg Boi in the room trembled as he watched the scene from behind the briefcase. 

Delilah struggled for a second as the cold-blooded skin wrapped around her but quickly calmed down and said again, “Let me take a look at it, please.”

Sir Pentious’ eyes flashed in surprise at her composure and her determination. Other demons would be screaming by now.

Nevertheless, he tightened his grip to keep her from struggling and spat back defensively, “Why do you care?! If I were you, I would…”

Delilah grabbed his injured hand and placed it on the back of her hair. Sir Pentious was about to strike back when he felt a strange sensation. Delilah let him pull his hand back, and his mouth hung agape as the deep bruises faded and disappeared. 

The Egg Boi’s reaction was about the same. 

Sir Pentious released Delilah who nonchalantly gripped her jacket and said, “It’s part of my punishment for betraying Samson. As his hair gave him his strength and invulnerability so mine gives me the same and allows me to give it to others.”

“Wait,” Sir Pentious said. “You mean to tell me that you’re the prostitute who…”

Delilah rolled her eyes and interrupted, “Who was spoken of in the Bible’s Book of Judges. The prostitute who outwitted and betrayed the mightiest Israelite judge. The original femme fatale. Yes. Yes. Yes. I am the very one, but that’s not important now. Listen, neither of us are here working for the Devil by choice. So, I think it would be best if instead of fighting we watched each other’s’ backs. Yes?”

“Whatever!” Sir Pentious said shrugging and staring at her silently.

He couldn’t help but gaze at her beauty. Her eyes were the color of the ancient gold she wore on her right arm. Her succubus body was curvy and exotic. Her black hair was even and straight. Her white wings, though splotched with black, were brilliant to look at. Even her Middle Eastern accent was alluring. 

Delilah was ravishing, but Sir Pentious had read the Bible in life and attended church as a child. He knew what kind of person Delilah was. She was the whore who overpowered the mightiest Israelite warrior. She couldn’t be trusted, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy his time with the legendary prostitute.

“Well, Delilah, since Satan has paid me for my services…” Sir Pentious said wrapping his tail around her waist again and pulling her closer until he was hissing in her face. “I will gladly enjoy partaking of you. You see, that is one of the punishments I have. As I heal, I belong to my healer.”

“Boss…” the Egg Boi said quietly gesturing to the hallway.

Sir Pentious nodded his head and let Delilah go. 

“Not yet, dear, but soon enough,” Sir Pentious said. 

Delilah furrowed her brow, crossed her arms, unleashed her talons on her right hand, and said, “I am more than just a whore. I have the right to choose who abuses me.”

“Who are you kidding?” Satan asked from the doorway.

Before Delilah could blink, he was on top of her grabbing her hands and pulling her into another deep kiss. The Egg Boi who guided Satan looked at the one hiding behind the suitcase in concern as Delilah’s frightened eyes looked pleadingly back at Sir Pentious who just looked away. 

After about a minute, the Devil finally took a break from his kissing.

“Delilah, my sweet, it is time for Round Two and I’ve decided I want it dog-style,” Satan said grinning sadistically. “Thanks for the room, Sir Pentious. I’ll talk to you tomorrow morning. And don’t worry, Delilah…”

Satan summoned a large carpet bag and finished, “I have everything we need.”

Delilah gave Sir Pentious one more frightened glance before Satan pulled her behind him down the hall.

Sir Pentious finally looked in her direction only when she left.

“So, boss, I guess this means you’ll be sharing a bunk with us,” the Egg Boi by the door said. 

“We’ve got everything we need for tomorrow,” the other Egg Boi said gesturing to the suitcases. 

“Alright, let’s get some rest,” Sir Pentious said rubbing his temples.

After Sir Pentious got his night shirt on and the Egg Bois got their pajamas on, they went downstairs to the bunks and saw the Egg Bois piling their pillows together and grabbing their blankets.

“What’s going on here?” Sir Pentious asked. 

“We made all the beds in the barracks into one giant bed for you, boss,” said an Egg Boi placing his pillow on the floor.

“Yeah, we heard that Satan took your bed, so we thought you could use this one instead,” said another one.

Sir Pentious felt a twinge of warmth going through his cold heart and smiled slightly.

“This is duly appreciated,” Sir Pentious said taking off his top hat and slithering down on top of the beds as one of the Egg Bois turned off the lights.

Meanwhile, up in Sir Pentious’ room, Delilah was sitting on the bed shaking like a leaf. After the Devil had her brush her teeth, he stripped off her clothes and told her to put on the black lingerie he bought for her while he took a quick shower.

Delilah was scared out of her mind. She had never been forced to have sex before. When she sold herself, it was always an encounter she agreed to. She never let anyone take her for free, except Samson. She never let anyone touch her she didn’t like, but now, she had no choice. Satan was using her to have another child, and she had no say in the matter.

To make matters worse, Delilah was on her own. Sir Pentious, Hell’s notorious kingpin, who she had healed out of the goodness of her heart without any gratitude, appeared to only see her the same way Satan did. He would probably swoop in right after the Devil was finished, and she didn’t know if she would have the strength to fight him after Satan was through with her.

Delilah shed a few tears and said, “God, what do I do?”

Then, she heard the shower turn off and the curtain open. The door opened, and Satan emerged in a towel that was wrapped around his waist. Delilah glanced at him and looked away timidly.

Satan walked over to her side of the bed and looked down at his prize. He knew what she was feeling. He also knew there were billions of other succubi who would have gladly taken him instead, but he had to teach this one a lesson, a lesson that she should have learned already after being in hell for almost 3,000 years.

“Look at me, Delilah,” Satan said creepily. 

She kept staring at the floor as if she didn’t hear him.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you, Delilah,” Satan said more angrily than before.

Delilah still wouldn’t look at him, so he angrily grabbed her face and kissed her. Delilah struggled for a moment before she unleashed her claws and smacked Satan on the side of his face leaving scratches where there weren’t any before. He stopped kissing and the two were speechless for a tense moment.

“What did you just do to your king?” Satan asked quietly without changing his smile.

“I’m sorry,” Delilah said quickly. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Don’t worry,” Satan said his eyes flashing red. “I’ll make you sorry.”

All the lights in the room went off. Before Delilah knew what was happening, she was being turned around, her waist was bent, and she was down on all fours. Satan threw off his towel and lunged on top of her slamming her onto her stomach. His lower half connected with hers, and he started licking her ear as Delilah started to cry.

Back in the basement, Sir Pentious laid awake thinking about Delilah. She was different than the other succubi, in her beauty and in her confidence. He had seen other beautiful and confident succubi before, but something about her stood out and caught his eye.

“Boss?” an Egg Boi whispered.

“What is it?” Sir Pentious groaned. “I’m trying to sleep.”

“What’s wrong, boss?” the Egg Boi whispered. 

“Nothing,” Sir Pentious sneered. “There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just struggling to get comfortable on this uncomfortable bed you eggheads made.”

“I think it’s something else,” said one that popped up out of nowhere. 

“I think it’s the lady,” another one said that showed up right over his head. “You looked like you were concerned about her.”

“How would you know?” Sir Pentious complained. “You weren’t even there.”

“We’re telepathically connected by a sort of hive mind,” said another Egg Boi creepily with a flashlight before Sir Pentious knocked him off the bed with his tail.

“Well, it’s not about that girl,” Sir Pentious said. “I’m not concerned about that whore. There is only one thing she’s good at and that’s…”

“Healing you?”

“Talking to you?”

“Getting used to you?”

“No, no, and no…” Sir Pentious retorted before a loud noise got their attention. 

Out of nowhere, cries of pain and moaning started echoing throughout the mansion. The Egg Bois snuggled against Sir Pentious for protection as they trembled in fear.

Sir Pentious pulled a pillow over his ear holes and tried to block out the noise. He knew exactly what was going on and didn’t like how it was making him feel.

“Please, stop,” Sir Pentious pleaded anxiously. “Please make it stop…”


	4. Chapter 4

When Sir Pentious woke up, his body felt heavy. He looked down to see his Egg Bois snuggled and sleeping against him. He hissed in annoyance and instantly slithered out from under them causing them to fall off the bed.

“Ow…Hey!” the Egg Bois exclaimed as they fell off the bed. 

“Oh, good morning, boss!” one of the Egg Bois said.

“Why on earth were you sleeping on me?” Sir Pentious asked. “Do you eggheads know nothing of personal space?”

“Sorry, boss,” the Egg Boi said. “The noises from upstairs kept scaring us. It got really loud.”

“Yeah,” another Egg Boi said fearfully. “There was so much thumping and growling. I don’t know how you slept through it.”

Sir Pentious shuddered in both fear and disgust and tried to put the woman out of his mind. 

“Alright,” he said. “Well, it’s over now. Everyone who’s not going with me, go prepare the three of us some breakfast while we get ready to leave. I would like to enjoy a meal in peace and quiet if that’s possible.”

An already-dressed Egg Boi said, “Don’t worry. We already made you breakfast, boss.”

“Yeah,” another dressed Egg Boi said. “We made your favorite. Buttered pancakes with coffee and a side of grapes.”

“Excellent,” Sir Pentious said his mouth already watering.

Once he got himself ready for the day, Sir Pentious and his Egg Bois made their way to the dining room. Unfortunately, when they got there, they saw the rosy-cheeked Devil eating the last of the pancakes from Sir Pentious’ plate.

“Delicious,” Satan said noticing Sir Pentious’ presence. “You know, your minions may be terrible at taking orders, but they make a fantastic breakfast.”

“Hey, that was the boss’s breakfast!” one of the Egg Bois protested as he climbed on the table and ran over to Satan.

“Is that so?” Satan asked playfully as he moved his face closer to the Egg Boi’s. “Well, to make it up to him, I’ll make him something else to eat. How about it, Sir Pentious? How do you like your EGGS?” 

The Egg Boi whimpered before he ran back behind his boss and trembled. 

“It’s fine,” Sir Pentious lied. “I’m not hungry anyway.”

“Don’t worry,” Satan replied tossing the bowl of grapes to Sir Pentious. “You can have the grapes. I don’t like that organic trash. It reminds me of our Father.”

Sir Pentious held the grape bowl in his hands and hissed under his breath trying desperately not to lose his temper in front of the King of Hell.

“You wouldn’t believe the good time I had last night,” Satan bragged while getting up from his chair. “I showed Delilah my true strength and she handled it pretty well up until she passed out from exhaustion. It was amazing considering I’m much stronger than Samson was. I honestly wish I could bring him down here to make a true comparison.” 

Satan chuckled to himself while adjusting his hat and said, “Anyways, I’m off. Thanks again for your hospitality, Sir Pentious. I’ll be leaving my whore here with you.”

“Where are you going?” Sir Pentious asked raising an eyebrow.

“I can’t leave my wife wondering,” Satan said as he walked past Sir Pentious and the Egg Bois who scrambled to get out of his way. “I also have other business to attend to. You just worry about getting into that hotel by the end of the week. Do not let my daughter find out about our agreement or I guarantee you a place in the 9th circle at the dry ice lounge.”

Sir Pentious just stared and gulped as the Devil turned around and smiled.

“You know, I’m feeling generous,” Satan said. “So, I’ll allow you to have a spin with Delilah before you go. Just make sure you use protection…”

The Devil pointed his staff at Sir Pentious and threatened sadistically, “If you get my whore pregnant, I’ll happily rip it out and make you devour it.”

One Egg Boi gagged while the other one fainted. 

“Well then, have a nice day,” Satan said before finally teleporting away.

When the Devil had finally gone, the fainted Egg Boi woke up and the two of them went to their plates to eat their breakfasts while Sir Pentious stood there and mumbled under his breath, “Like I would ever have kids.”

“Hey, boss,” one of the Egg Bois said. “You can eat my pancakes.”

Sir Pentious nodded and slithered over to his place at the table. After eating a few pancakes, drinking his coffee, and finishing off his grapes, the snake demon found that he was full and that he was hungry for something else. 

Sir Pentious pushed his plate back to the Egg Bois, tightened his bow tie, and emerged from the chair. 

“Where are you going, boss?” the Egg Boi asked. “Don’t you want your food?”

“You two can share it,” Sir Pentious said. “Do we have everything we need?”

“Yes, sir,” the other Egg Boi said. “We’re ready to go.”

“Good, take your time eating, Bois,” Sir Pentious said putting his hat on his chair, unbuttoning his coat, and loosening his bow tie. “I’m going to spoil myself for a bit.”

As Sir Pentious slithered closer to his room, his animal instincts started to kick in and he began to drool with lust. When he saw his door was open, Sir Pentious quietly slithered in, but as he gazed upon the woman sitting on the side of his bed, his lust faded away into concern.

The bedroom was a mess of sheets and feathers with furniture randomly toppled over. The room smelled of sweat and tears. Delilah was naked sitting on the edge of the bed and hugging her knees while quietly sniffling. 

Any lust Sir Pentious had left disappeared when he noticed three long scratches going down Delilah’s back. It made him feel remorseful and guilty, two things he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Sir Pentious tried silently slithering in to get a closer look, but the floor creaked underneath him. 

“Who’s there?” Delilah asked fearfully as she unleashed her talons and looked over her shoulder.

Sir Pentious slithered closer and said, “Don’t worry, Delilah. It’s only me. I’m not going to hurt you. Satan left, so I just wanted to see if you were alright.”

Sir Pentious twitched nervously. Delilah clearly wasn’t alright. What a stupid thing to ask…

Delilah smiled sadly and said, “Well, for now.”

Sir Pentious looked down and noticed that his coat was still hanging open. 

His face flashed in embarrassment as he turned around and said, “Oh, um, please forgive my unkempt appearance. I…I normally look better than this…”

As Sir Pentious finished buttoning up his coat, he noticed two black pieces of shredded lingerie lying on the ground. 

His face flushed as he picked up the pieces and slithered over to lay them on the bed next to Delilah.

“I believe this belongs to you,” Sir Pentious said nervously laying the articles of clothing next to her.

“No, it belongs to Satan,” Delilah said scornfully. “He ripped apart my other clothes and forced me to wear it while he…”

A shudder went through Delilah’s traumatized body as she started trembling again. 

Sir Pentious looked around until he found a thin blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. He got a glimpse of her nakedness and turned away to give her some privacy. 

“Do you have any clothing I could wear?” Delilah asked. 

“Uh, yes, I mean, they were for someone else, but I suppose there’s no reason you couldn’t have…” Sir Pentious said stumbling through his words for a second. “Yes, the answer is yes.”

Delilah giggled a little bit, and Sir Pentious looked away in embarrassment. 

“It’s not what you would consider ‘in style,’ but it will have to do,” Sir Pentous said sternly. “Is that acceptable?”

“I’ve been dead for about 3,000 years,” Delilah said playfully. “Do you think I know or care about what’s ‘in style?’”

“Do you want them or not?”

“Yes, I do. Thank you.”

“Well, I do owe you for healing me, madame,” Sir Pentious said finally allowing himself to look her in the eyes.

“Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to use your shower…AGH!” Delilah said as she tried to stand up only to feel her waist cramp up.

“Are you alright?” Sir Pentious asked with concern as he slithered over to help her get back on the bed. “What did he do to you?”

“The Devil was an animal,” Delilah whimpered painfully. “I begged him to stop, but he just kept getting more aggressive. It was terrifying.”

Sir Pentious used his tail to lift her onto the bed as he asked, “Why is he abusing you like this? He already has a wife who’s as strong as he is. At this rate, he’s going to cause you some significant internal damage.”

“He was punishing me for running away. I’m his ‘new concubine’ he’s using to have his new child.”

“WHAT?!”

“It’s true. The first time he tricked me into consenting, but I ran off when I realized he intended to keep me locked in his guest room like some kind of breeding sow. He found me, he brought me here, I tried to fight him, and as punishment, he made the second time as horrible as he possibly could. I don’t know how I haven’t conceived yet.”

“But why does the Devil want a new child?”

“He wants to replace Charlie with a child who’s more obedient. I suppose it’s a Plan B to whatever he has you doing. He tried to sleep with Lilith, but she refused him.”

“But do you want it?”

Delilah sighed, pulled back her hair revealing the bruises and deep bite marks on her neck, and said, “All I know is I have no choice.” 

“Oh, God,” Sir Pentious said recoiling in horror. “I thought you were strong and invulnerable.”

Delilah sighed and said, “Only when I’m awake. When I fall asleep, I’m as weak as anyone else. Another punishment for what I did to Samson. I kept going as long as I could, but eventually, I couldn’t stay awake anymore and that’s when he did the most damage…”

“Jesus Christ…”

“Like I said before, he’s using both of us now, and I’ve been around long enough to know that the only way we’ll endure it is if we rely on each other. Besides, he told me that I’m not allowed to leave until you finish your mission at the hotel or until I conceive. What choice do we have?”

“Well, you don’t have to be cooped up in my room,” Sir Pentious said. “I mean, you can sleep here, but you can explore my home and go into any room you want. The Egg Bois do most of the maintenance, but you can pick up their slack and make sure they don’t wreck the place while I’m gone, as long as you don’t aggravate your injuries, of course. How does that sound? Do we have a deal?”

Sir Pentious held out his hand.

Delilah smiled, shook his hand, and said, “Deal. As long as you give me something to eat and let me use your shower.”

Sir Pentious sweated a bit at feeling her hand touch his, and as soon as she let go, he said, “Well, I’m off to infiltrate the hotel for ‘our king.’ I should be back within a few days. I’ll tell the Egg Bois to get you everything you need.”

“I’m going to use the shower,” Delilah said standing up from the bed and walking towards the bathroom.

Sir Pentious couldn’t help looking at her and staring at her hips. He gazed upon her as if he was in a trance.

Delilah looked back, smiled for a bit, and said, “Thank you,” before she shut the door and entered the shower.

When Sir Pentious came back to reality, he looked around disdainfully at how messy the Devil made his room.

“She was right about one thing,” Sir Pentious muttered to himself. “Satan is an animal. He’s a bloody pig. Egg Bois!”

“Yes, boss,” said one of a group of Egg Bois that were standing in the hall. “We weren’t eavesdropping on your conversation or anything…”


	5. Chapter 5

Delilah entered the shower and turned on the water. She flinched a bit as her scratched skin tingled in the warm water. She lathered her hair, her wings, and her body with soap and turned around to rinse off. 

Delilah screamed as the water touched her back. She gritted her teeth as she continued rinsing off and wondered aloud, “Why is this happening to me? God, why can’t I just conceive and get him to leave me alone already?”

Meanwhile, Sir Pentious was lingering on the stoop of his mansion while waiting for his Egg Bois to walk down the front steps. He couldn’t stop thinking about the succubus taking a shower in his room. 

“Boss, are you coming?” one of the Egg Bois asked.

“Yes,” Sir Pentious said snapping back to reality. “Listen up, Bois! We are about to infiltrate the unknown, a place filled with the princess’s delusions and fantasies. She may not be as diabolical as her father, but she is still dangerous. Do not let her insipid dreams into your empty heads. Our mission is to find out the hotel’s budget, guest capacity, and whatever else the Devil needs to know about what makes it tick. You Bois need to focus and not let anything distract you. Do I make myself clear?”

“Sir, yes, sir!” both Egg Bois replied before marching out in front of their boss. 

Sir Pentious looked back at his home one more time before he slithered behind them.

Back in the kingpin’s bedroom, Delilah was done with her shower, wrapped herself in a towel, and opened the bathroom door to see that the bedroom was all clean and tidy.

“What the…?” Delilah said in surprise. “Did those Eggs clean up this room already?”

“Yes!” she heard one of them reply out of nowhere. 

“Huh?” Delilah asked pulling out her talons and looking around for the source of the reply. “Who said that? Where are you?”

“Down here, miss,” the voice said.

Delilah looked down and saw that it was only an Egg Boi holding a rolling stool. 

“Oh,” Delilah said retracting her claws. “You startled me.”

“Sorry about that,” the Egg Boi apologized while pushing the stool in front of him. “Would you like to get some clothes to wear?”

“Please.”

“Then sit down here.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

Delilah gave him a confused look before she sat down on the rolling stool in front of him. 

“Let’s go!” the Egg Boi said as he started pushing the stool quickly out of the room and down the hall.

“What is going on?” Delilah asked. “Where are we going?”

“Well, we can’t leave you without clothes. Can we?”

“Uh, no, but why can’t I walk?”

“You’re injured.”

“I can fly.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s no trouble at all…Here, we are!”

Another Egg Boi appeared, opened the door, and stepped aside while Delilah was pushed in. The room was so dark that she couldn’t see the hand in front of her face.

“Why’s it so dark in here?” Delilah asked.

“Just a moment,” the Egg Boi said flipping a light switch. “Here, we go.”

Delilah’s eyes grew wide in amazement. The entire room was filled with racks and racks of Victorian clothing for women and wardrobes covering the walls with even more. It was quite bizarre.

The most bizarre part was that there were Egg Bois everywhere scrambling to pull open the curtains and pulling out white garments. 

“As Sir Pentious’ new house sitter, you need to look your best, so we have to make you look fabulous!” the Egg Boi pushing the stool said flamboyantly interrupting her thoughts. “It’s standard protocol to work with our boss.”

“Yeah!” another Egg Boi said. “It’s not like we ship you two or anything!”

“What was that?” Delilah asked raising an eye brow. 

“Uh…” the Egg Boi said searching for the right words. “We got you breakfast. It’s waiting in the dressing room.”

The Egg Boi pushed her stool into a small room located just off the larger room. The Egg Boi flipped on the light switch to reveal a wood-paneled room furnished with a white-cushioned chair, a matching vanity and stool sitting beside the window, a matching wardrobe, and a divider screen with peacocks on it. On almost every wall were mirrors. On the other side of the room was an open door leading to a small bathroom with a cardboard cutout of Lilith sitting in front of it…Wait, what?

Delilah couldn’t believe her eyes. The Egg Bois quickly realized what she was staring at and knocked over the cardboard cutout as quickly as they could before carrying it out.

“Oops,” an Egg Boi said pushing a silver covered cart in front of her. “Pretend you never saw that. We got you breakfast!”

He removed the lid and revealed a small cart with pancakes, bacon, assorted fruit, and orange juice. 

“Thank you so much,” Delilah said excitedly picking up the fork and knife. “You have no idea how hungry I am…”

“Not yet,” an Egg Boi said shutting the lid over the cart. “You need to get dressed first, silly. A lady doesn’t eat naked.”

Delilah grimaced, picked up the lid, and said, “I don’t care. I’m starving.”

“But you don’t even have underwear on,” the Egg Boi said shutting the lid.

Delilah did not have the energy to continue the argument, so she relented, sat back on the stool, and said, “Fine, but what is this room for anyway?”

“Would you stand up please?” an Egg Boi asked holding measuring tape. 

Delilah silently obeyed. As soon as she stood up, the Egg Boi measured her bust, her stomach, and her height all within the span of ten seconds before he ran out of the room screaming, “I got her measurements, guys!”

Delilah looked after him as her face twisted in confusion. 

“This is a dressing room for Victorian ladies,” the Egg Boi standing by the cart said. “All wealthy British women used to have them.”

“Is that right?” Delilah said sitting back in her chair and looking around the room. “It’s absurd. Why would any woman need an entire room to get dressed?”

The Egg Boi scratched his head and said, “Well, don’t women like to have privacy when they get dressed?”

“But why an entire room?” 

“Uhhh…I don’t know, but these rooms were meant to be gifts for a secret crush of Sir Pentious’.”

Delilah smirked and asked, “Do you mean Lilith?”

“Uh…” the Egg Boi said searching for the right words.

“Ha. No wonder he was reluctant to offer me clothes at first. That doesn’t surprise me. Most incubi would die for the chance to be near her. It’s kinda sad.”

“Yeah, well, you were hungry, right?” the Egg Boi said as other Egg Bois came in with the linens. “Let’s get you dressed.”

“Finally,” Delilah said standing up from the stool and suddenly noticing the other Egg Bois pouring in. “If you’re all here to watch me strip, you have to pay in advance.”

“That’s disgusting” an Egg Boi in the crowd said. “We’re here to help you get clothes on.” 

“Why would I need help getting dressed?”

“All Victorian ladies needed help getting dressed.”

“Why?”

“Because Victorian clothing is complicated,” the Egg Boi who pushed her in said pushing her behind the divider and handing her a loose white dress and black garters. “First, you need to go behind here and put these on.”

“Don’t I get underwear?”

“This is the underwear.”

“I mean for my ass!” Delilah snapped.

“Victorian women didn’t wear underwear,” the Egg Boi said calmly.

“What?!” 

“Just put the clothes on. Gee, you’re quite cranky today. Are you okay?”

Delilah winced as she pulled the shift over her wings.

Then she sat down on the floor to pull up the garters and said, “Let’s just say I had a bad night last night.”

“I’ll bet,” the Egg Boi said as he was handed the linen drawers. “The Devil sounded really scary. Here are your drawers.”

Delilah smiled appreciating that he didn’t want any details and looked at the strange pants she had been given.

“Why do they have such big holes in the back?” Delilah asked.

“That’s so you can go to the bathroom,” the Egg Boi said handing her the drawers. “Come on. Step in and I’ll tie them back for you.”

Delilah took the drawers, held them up in confusion, and said, “Do I wear them under the dress?”

“Oh, no, you stuff the shift into them.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s how Victorian ladies wore them.”

“Victorian women made no sense,” Delilah said stepping into the drawers and stuffing the shift into the pants before she tried tying the pants shut behind her back.

“Allow me, miss,” the Egg Boi said running behind her and tying the pants shut for her. 

Delilah felt strange having someone else help her out with clothing. She hadn’t had a servant since she was living in ancient Israel. It brought back some memories she hadn’t thought of in a long time.

When the Egg Boi was done tying the drawers, Delilah looked at her outfit. It was strange but functional, minus the fact that she didn’t have a bra.

“I guess this is okay,” Delilah said walking in front of the mirror and heading back to her stool. 

“Where are you going?” an Egg Boi said. “You’re not done.”

“What?!” Delilah asked. “What else do I need to wear?”

“Well…” that Egg Boi said before an Egg Boi ran in with a ladder and a white skirt.

“You need to wear a petticoat,” he said throwing the skirt over Delilah’s head and pulling it down until he tied it in the back.

“And a corset,” said another Egg Boi simultaneously climbing up the ladder, wrapping a black corset around Delilah’s chest, and tying it up around her chest. 

“And a bustle skirt,” said another Egg Boi throwing the white item over Delilah’s head so quickly that it got caught on her wings.

“Owww,” Delilah said as she flattened her wings against her back so she could pull the heavy skirt down. “Watch the wings please.”

“Sorry,” the Egg Boi said as Delilah finally pulled down the skirt and looked in the mirror.

Delilah rubbed out the wrinkles of the skirt as she looked at herself in the mirror feeling flustered by all the attention the Egg Bois were giving her. She had seen this style of dress but had never worn it herself. The skirt was heavier than she was used to, but it was manageable.

“Alright,” Delilah said breathing a sigh of relief. “I’m looking good. Now, all I need are shoes to wear and I will be…”

“You’re not done yet, silly,” an Egg Boi interrupted.

Delilah’s relieved smile slipped into a frown of exasperation as she said, “You’re kidding. This is more than enough clothing.”

“Yeah, if you still wanted to be a prostitute,” an Egg Boi said before one of his colleagues elbowed him in the ribs. “Oh, sorry.”

“What do I have to wear for you to consider me ‘modest?’” Delilah asked using air quotes.

“Just a few more things,” an Egg Boi said as they started filing out of the small room. “We still have to pick something out.”

The other Egg Bois left before Delilah could respond. She felt her head spinning, so she sat down in the chair.

The Egg Boi who pushed her in pushed the cart in front of her and said, “You can have some food while you…”

“We found the perfect outfit!” an Egg Boi yelled as his colleagues filed back into the room. 

Delilah glanced at the three-piece black outfit and said, “Isn’t that a bit dressy for helping out around the house?”

“What are you talking about?” said two Egg Bois as they pulled her out of the chair and into fancy black boots that they tied around her feet before pushing her in front of the mirror.

“You should always dress to impress, Delilah,” said another one climbing on a ladder that seemed to appear out of nowhere to throw a black skirt over the one she was already wearing.

Delilah barely had time to flatten her wings for the first skirt before another Egg Boi threw another heavy bustle skirt over it and said, “Sometimes in life, you need to dress for the job you want, like if you want to be a wife.”

“What?” Delilah asked raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” the Egg Boi said pushing her backwards onto the stool she was rolled in on while two other Egg Bois pulled over an ottoman and started combing her hair.

All Delilah could do was roll her eyes, cross her arms, and say, “If this is some kind of fetish, you have to pay me.”

“What do you mean by a fetish?” one of the Egg Bois asked as he put a hair piece in her hair to hold it up.

“Never mind,” Delilah said unfolding her arms just as another Egg Boi put the black long-sleeved, satin blouse on her from the front.

“Almost done,” said the Egg Boi as he walked around to button up the blouse. “Oh, dear. How do you wear this with your wings? I can’t close it all the way.”

“You could button up the top and the bottom and leave the middle unbuttoned,” Delilah suggested.

“That’s brilliant,” the Egg Boi said doing what she suggested. “You’re a genius, just like our boss!”

“You figure out some things when you’ve been a winged succubus for 3,000 years,” Delilah said with a slight smile as she stood up to look at herself in the mirror.

The dress was heavier and more fitted than she was used to. She could still walk, but her movements felt constricted. It would take some getting used to, but at least, the Egg Bois would leave her alone now…

“Hmmm…” an Egg Boi said. “I feel like something is missing.”

“You can’t be serious,” Delilah said in exasperation. “What could be missing?”

“How about make-up?” said another Egg Boi.

“Yeah,” said yet another Egg Boi pushing her back onto the stool and rolling her in front of the mirror. “Don’t worry, Delilah. It’ll only take a minute.”

Delilah rolled her eyes and complied. What choice did she have? 

A couple of Egg Bois put some powder on her face. Delilah shut her eyes and waited for them to finish. 

“There, you go!” the Egg Bois said in unison. 

“You look more beautiful than Queen Elizabeth on her coronation day!” exclaimed another Egg Boi.

Delilah looked at herself in the mirror. The whole outfit felt awkward, but it looked beautiful. She looked like a Victorian lady in mourning, except for the fact her blouse had flowery patterns embroidered into it. It felt like a fitting metaphor for what her life had become.

Oh, well. At least, she could always make adjustments when the Egg Bois left her alone…

“Thanks for the help…Wait, do any of you have names?” Delilah asked. 

“We give ourselves names,” said the Egg Boi who pushed her in turning around to show off the number on his back. “But we also go by the numbers on our backs to make things easier.”

“Number 22?” Delilah read.

“Yeah, but you can call me Toulouse if you want,” the Egg Boi replied. “I’m okay either way.”

“Okay, Toulouse,” Delilah said with a smile as she struggled to walk with her long, heavy skirts back to her chair. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to eat before I join you.”

“Okay,” all the Egg Bois said at once.

Delilah sat down in her comfy chair, lifted the lid off her cart, picked up her fork and knife, and prepared to devour her pancakes, but she got the feeling she was being watched. She slowly looked up to see all the Egg Bois watching her. It was unnerving to say the least.

“Can I help you?” Delilah asked raising an eyebrow.

“No, we just like watching you,” Toulouse said sincerely taking a picture of her with his smart phone. 

“You have nothing better to do.”

“Not really.”

Delilah’s face fell completely. It was going to be a really long day.


	6. Chapter 6

Outside of the Happy Hotel, Angel Dust was smoking a cigarette while staring thoughtfully at the sky. 

“Mag, Cass,” Angel said with a sad smile to the two people on the other side of eternity he prayed could hear him. “I might be a little delayed on my arrival. I fucked up yesterday. Big time. I’m sorry. I already told Charlie and God, so I figure I should say it to you, too. I just couldn’t say no to Cherri. I struggle with havin’ a back bone. I ain’t a natural at being a good person like you two were, but I know I got it in me somewhere. Just be patient and ask the Man Upstairs to help me out please. I’ll be there soon…”

Angel took one more drag from his cigarette before he finished it and pitched it. He looked into his box of cigarettes and saw that there were two left, so he thoughtfully placed them into the pocket of his coat and said, “And I’ll smuggle you two some cigarettes to make up for making ya wait on me for so long.”

As he tossed the cigarette box into the garbage, Angel noticed a familiar-looking group of demons walking towards the hotel, the same group of demons that he helped his friend Cherri fight the day before.

“Boss, that’s Angel Dust,” one of the Egg Bois said grabbing onto his hat and pointing ahead.

Sir Pentious looked ahead to see that his minion was telling the truth.

“Oh, great!” Sir Pentious growled rubbing his temples in dismay.

“Boss, what do we do?” the other Egg Boi said hiding behind his boss for protection.

Sir Pentious took a deep breath, tightened his bow tie, and said, “Just let me do the talking.”

Angel and Sir Pentious stared each other down as the latter and his minions slithered closed in. Shockingly enough, Sir Pentious and Angel didn’t say anything to each other once they were close enough. They only glared at each in a tense silence until Sir Pentious turned away to slither to the front door while his minions rode on his tail hoping to avoid a confrontation altogether.

“Pentious,” Angel finally said breaking the silence and crossing his arms. 

“Dust,” Sir Pentious replied coldly without turning around. 

“What are you doing here?” Angel asked advancing towards him until he was practically right on top of him. 

“What?” Sir Pentious asked turning around. “The Happy Hotel is open to all. Is it not?”

“Not to you. You ain’t welcome here.”

“The last time I checked the hotel was open to all demons, so I suggest you leave me be.”

Sir Pentious tried turning around, but Angel pulled him off the door and threw him on the ground causing the latter to drop his luggage and his Egg Bois to cower by the door. 

“I’m only givin’ you one warning, pal,” Angel said standing directly over him. “Scram right now, or you’re gettin’ rubbed out.”

“Oh, piss off, you naff slag!” Sir Pentious yelled back as he sat himself up.

“I have no idea what the hell that even means, ya dick,” Angel retorted. “Why don’t you try speakin’ more modern English?”

“He said you were a tacky slut,” an Egg Boi said.

“Hey!” Angel Dust said hopping on top of him and moving his face closer until they were practically touching. “I may be a slut, buddy, but I sure as hell ain’t tacky!”

“Angel, what’s going on?!” Vaggie yelled as she ran past the Egg Bois to where Angel had Sir Pentious pinned to the ground.

“This pretentious piece-of-shit was trying to break into the hotel,” Angel said finally allowing himself and Sir Pentious to stand up.

“I was not!” Sir Pentious protested. “I was entering through the front door. That can hardly be called ‘breaking in.’”

Vaggie pointed a spear in his face and said, “I don’t care what you were doing. Piss off right now or…”

“Vaggie, cut it out!” Charlie yelled from behind them.

The princess ran around her friends and stopped to catch her breath before she said, “Let’s hear what he has to say.”

Sir Pentious picked up his hat that had fallen off in the scuffle, stroked his frill, straightened up his clothes, took a deep breath, and said, “Salutations, your highness. I know we got off on the wrong foot yesterday, and I would like to apologize.”

Sir Pentious bowed deeply while swallowing his pride and biting his lip.

“Yeah,” an Egg Boi said while he and his partner ran beside their boss and followed his lead. 

“We’re super sorry,” the other Egg Boi said.

Vaggie scoffed and said, “If you think Charlie’s just gonna forgive you after all that you put us through yesterday, you have another thing coming.”

“Vaggie, hang on,” Charlie said before gesturing towards the door. “Why do you have suitcases?”

Sir Pentious stood up, put on his best fake smile, and said, “Well, isn’t it obvious? We’re checking in.”

Angel and Vaggie’s faces fell in complete shock, but Charlie…

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Charlie screamed so loud that it sent out a shockwave that broke the hotel’s front doors and caused everyone else to keel over in pain as they did their best to cover up their ears. “THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!”

In the next second before Sir Pentious even had time to straighten himself up, Charlie wrapped her arms around him so tightly that his frill spread and his eyes were practically popping out of their sockets before she let go and used both of her hands to shake Sir Pentious’ hand vigorously. 

“Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Sir Pentious!” Charlie squealed excitedly. “I promise you will not regret this!”

As nausea wracked his body, Sir Pentious clutched his stomach and mumbled, “Too late.”

Charlie grabbed onto his hand and quickly pulled the snake demon behind her while she said, “Angel, could you grab their luggage? Thanks!”

The Egg Bois carried their suitcases in while following their boss inside leaving Angel and Vaggie dumbfounded.

As soon as Sir Pentious and Charlie reached the front desk, she ran behind the counter, opened the guest book, and looked back at him.

“So, Sir Pentious, you want to be rehabilitated so you can go to heaven, right?” Charlie asked.

“Yes, your majesty,” Sir Pentious replied leaning against the counter so he could regain his balance from the constant movement of the past few minutes. 

“And what about your minions?” 

“They follow me wherever I go, so different members will be cycling in and out with me. I figured I shouldn’t overwhelm your hotel by bringing all of them at once. Besides, I need some of them to watch over my home.”

“That’s quite considerate of you, but we could always expand,” Charlie said writing the information down in the guest book. “We have plenty of rooms anyway.”

“No, one room should be fine for…OWWW!” Sir Pentious yelled as his suitcase flew straight into the side of his head before falling on the ground. “Who threw that?!”

“Oh, did that hit your face?” Angel asked sarcastically walking to the front desk. “Sorry about that.”

Sir Pentious glared at him as Vaggie strode over next to him and asked, “Snake demon, why are you really here? What are you up to?”

The snake demon was angry, but he knew he couldn’t lose face. 

So, instead, Sir Pentious looked back at Charlie and said, “If this is how you’re going to treat us, maybe we should just go!”

“No, don’t go,” Charlie said vaulting over the front desk as quickly as she could and pulling Angel and Vaggie aside. “Just let me talk to them for a second!”

“Charlie, what the hell are you doing? Don’t you know who this is?!” Vaggie loudly whispered while her head gestured towards the snake demon. “Why the fuck are you letting him into the Hotel?”

“Guys, please, this is really important,” Charlie whispered. “Just think. Once we have Sir Pentious rehabilitated, he won’t be causing any more turf wars. It will be wonderful. This is a sign of good things. It looks like Divine Favor is shining on us at last, guys.”

“Charlie, slow down a second,” Angel whispered harshly. “This is the demon who tried to kill me yesterday. You really think he’s up to anything good? I can’t believe I’m sayin’ this, kid, but I have to agree with Vaggie on this one.”

“Look, I know we’ve had some bad history, but I think he might be willing to change. So, let’s just give him a chance. Please….” Charlie said shining her large puppy-dog eyes shined in a helplessly cute way that cut Vaggie and Angel to their cores.

“Come on, Charlie,” Vaggie begged. “Not the eyes. Argh! Fine, but I’m keeping an eye on him.”

“Ditto,” Angel said reluctantly nodding his head. 

“Well, can we check in?” Sir Pentious asked.

“Yes!” Charlie yelled running over and vaulting back over the front desk. “Alright, we have a room available on the second floor and we have a large selection of meal plans that you can buy…”

“In other words, not everything here is free, pal,” Angel quipped.

“Angel, that’s not nice,” Charlie said. “Leave him alone…”

Sir Pentious dropped a large bag of gold on the front desk that was bigger than the guest book. The three demons were left speechless.

Sir Pentious looked at his nails and said, “Will this cover the first month’s expenses?”

“Most definitely,” Charlie said excitedly handing Sir Pentious a key. 

Sir Pentious took the key and said, “Thank you. My Bois and I will go get settled in. Don’t be afraid to knock.”

The snake demon and his minions picked up their luggage and started walking away. As the three of them passed by, Vaggie glared suspiciously while Angel made an “I’m watching you” gesture with his hand. 

Sir Pentious didn’t respond but kept walking away along with one Egg Boi while the other lingered behind and gave Angel and Vaggie the bird.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Charlie said getting between them. “Run along. We have a meeting to prepare for. Vaggie, would you mind putting the gold in the vault?”

The Egg Boi listened closely to the last bit of conversation before he ran to catch up with his boss.


	7. Chapter 7

Later, out in the hallway, Charlie and her two bodyguards Razzle and Dazzle were carrying gift baskets for Sir Pentious and his two Egg Bois.

Back in their hotel room, the Egg Bois were finishing up organizing their clothes into their room’s bureau.

“Okay, boss,” one of the Egg Bois said as the Eggs laid their sleeping bags on the floor. “We’re done organizing everything. What’s the next step?”

“Now, we scout and wait,” Sir Pentious said adjusting his hat. “We can’t have the princess or her friends sniffing up our scent. We’re going to ingratiate them into liking us so that they do not suspect a thing. That shouldn’t be too hard with her highness, but that purple church bell and Dust are going to be a challenge. But whatever happens, remember this. After everything the Devil did to force me…us into spying on his daughter, we can’t risk doing anything that might get us exposed.”

“Awwww!” one of the Egg Bois groaned sadly. “I thought this was going to be a vacation…Guk!”

Sir Pentious slammed his tail on top of the Egg Boi and growled sarcastically, “Oh, you thought this was a vacation?! Well, excuse me! Would you like to order room service?!”

“Uh, no thank you, sir,” the Egg Boi said nervously. “I think I’ll just walk to the cafeteria to spy on the princess.”

“That’s better,” Sir Pentious said while wrapping his tail around the Egg Boi and tossing him over to the bed. “But to be safe, you’re going to be replaced with Toulouse for the next rotation.”

“Awwww!” the Egg Boi whined crossing his arms while laying upside down against the pillows covering the head board. “Why does Toulouse get to do everything? You just like him best because he’s the original.”

“No, I like him best because he has more brain cells than any of his clones,” Sir Pentious retorted while rubbing his temples. “Now, drop the attitude or you go home now!”

“Okay, sorry, Mr. Boss Man,” the Egg Boi apologized.

“That’s better,” Sir Pentious replied crossing his arms and smirking wickedly. “As for the princess, you leave her to me. I will keep her so distracted she won’t even have time to think.”

Then, all of a sudden, a knock came to the door. 

“Oh, Sir Pentious!” a familiar cheerful and melodic voice called out from the other side.

“Oh, no,” one Egg Boi said quietly as he and his colleague pulled out their guns and knives respectively. “It’s the princess.”

“What are you doing, ya stupid gits?” Sir Pentious whispered loudly. “Put those weapons away right now. We can’t hurt her.”

“Then, what do we do, boss?” an Egg Boi asked.

“Just listen closely,” Sir Pentious whispered. “I have an idea.”

Charlie knocked again and said, “Sir Pentious, are you in there? Hmmm…Maybe he went to the cafeteria…”

She turned to her bodyguards. Razzle looked at her in worry while Dazzle shook his head. 

“Oh, you two worry too much,” Charlie said optimistically. “I’m sure he’s just fine…”

“Do you have any twos?!” Sir Pentious called out in a focused voice that led Charlie to open the door without thinking. 

Charlie saw the snake demon sitting on the floor playing a card game with his Egg Bois on his bed.

“I have a full house,” the Egg Boi said throwing his cards down on the bed. “I win.”

“Thrhys, that is not how you play this game,” the other Egg Boi protested while Sir Pentious tried his best to pretend he was calm and resist the urge to facepalm in frustration.

“What are you talking about, Austen?” Thrys asked in annoyance. “A full house is good in Poker.”

“No, we’re playing Go Fish, you moron,” Austen replied. 

“Who are you calling a moron?” Thrys retorted.

“Okay, okay, everyone, calm down,” Sir Pentious said calmly with a fake smile and a serious glare that they quickly understood. “All that matters is that we’re having fun, right?”

“Yeah!” the Egg Bois quickly cheered while rushing over to give their boss a hug. 

Sir Pentious grimaced briefly at their touch, but he forced himself to put his hands on their backs to look more convincing.

“Awww,” Charlie squealed quietly as her lips curled into a big smile.

“Oh, your highness,” Sir Pentious said pretending to suddenly notice her presence. “How can I help you?”

“Oh, uh, Sir Pentious,” Charlie said nervously with a blush. “I am so sorry. I should have known better than to enter your room.”

“Don’t worry about it, dear,” Sir Pentious said slithering over to where Charlie was standing so quickly that the Egg Bois fell on their faces. “All is forgiven. Are those baskets for us?”

“Oh, yeah,” Charlie said walking in and placing the gift basket on the bureau while her two bodyguards laid the gift baskets on the other side of the floor as the Egg Bois quickly ran over to get them. “This is just a little something from all of us to welcome you to the hotel. I hope you like it.”

Sir Pentious quickly slithered over to where Charlie was standing, gently took her right hand, and gave it a little kiss.

“I know we will, your majesty,” Sir Pentious said sounding as charming as he possibly could. “Thank you.”

Unfortunately for him however, he heard growling coming from Charlie’s feet. Sir Pentious opened his eyes to see Razzle and Dazzle give the kingpin a warning growl. He slowly let go of Charlie’s hands and slithered back a few feet.

“Hello, there,” Sir Pentious said nervously reaching his hand out towards Razzle. “Who might you two be?”

Razzle opened his jaws and lunged forward towards the snake demon’s fingers. Sir Pentious had just enough time to pull his hand back while involuntarily making a small yelp.

“Razzle, stop that!” Charlie exclaimed. “Sir Pentious, I am so sorry! These are my bodyguards. They were gifts from my father. They can be a bit overprotective.”

“I see,” Sir Pentious commented.

Dazzle grabbed a cupcake out of Sir Pentious’ gift basket and hid it behind his back before Charlie turned back around and warned, “You two need to behave yourselves right now or tonight you’re not getting any dessert!”

“Don’t worry about it, your majesty,” Sir Pentious said reassuringly. “I feel blessed just to be in the presence of an angel such as yourself. Besides, how can I stay mad at these two? They’re so cute.”

Sir Pentious opened his arms and cooed to the Egg Bois, “Come on, you cuties. How about we kiss and make up?”

Dazzle and Razzle glanced at each other for a moment before Dazzle chucked the cupcake he was hiding straight into Sir Pentious’ left eye.

“OW! My eye!” Sir Pentious squealed in pain as the two goat bois keeled over in laughter and the Egg Bois trembled in fearful anticipation of how their boss would react.

“Razzle! Dazzle!” Charlie yelled angrily. “Get out right now! I can’t believe you just…”

“No need to fret, princess,” Sir Pentious said in a surprisingly calm tone.

The two Egg Bois tentatively walked to their boss in disbelief before he took the cupcake from his eye, took a bite out of it, and continued, “This cupcake you made is quite delicious, your highness.”

“Oh, please, call me Charlie,” Charlie replied nervously before turning to her bodyguards. “You two can go to your room and come back later when you’re ready to say you’re sorry! Now, go!”

While Razzle and Dazzle sulked and walked away, Sir Pentious slithered over to the bathroom with his Egg Bois to get the cupcake out of his eye.

“Boss, are you okay?” Austen whispered while wetting a washcloth.

“Yeah, that look like it hurt,” Thrys said holding the cupcake in his hands.

“It did,” Sir Pentious whispered angrily while wiping the icing off his face. “I swear, if we weren’t undercover, I would turn those goats into lamb sandwiches.”

Once all the icing was gone, Sir Pentious lathered the washcloth with soap and proceeded to wash his face.

When he finally finished rinsing out, Charlie stood by the bathroom door and said, “Hey. I’m really sorry about that. I’ll be going. Be sure to let me know if you need anything…”

“Wait,” Sir Pentious said wiping his face with a towel. “Charlie, I would like to tour the premises if it’s not too much trouble. Just in case the Egg Bois or I get lost. Would you be willing to oblige?”

“Of course,” Charlie replied cheerfully. “We have about an hour or two before our next session anyway. Just follow me!”

“But boss, we’re hungry,” Thrys complained.

Sir Pentious glared at him, but Charlie grabbed another towel from the bathroom and said, “Oh, that’s fine. We can eat food from the baskets first. Let me just set this towel and we can have a picnic on the floor!”

“Yay!” the Egg Bois squealed while Sir Pentious put on the best fake smile he could muster.

After about an hour of eating and chatting merrily in Sir Pentious’ room, they finally got around to the tour.

As he, his minions, and Charlie walked through the hallway, Sir Pentious couldn’t help but notice all the portraits of the Magne family and the other fallen angels who made up Satan’s family. He hissed in silence as his eyes fell on the Devil that he hated and feared. He didn’t dare to stare though for fear that Satan’s eyes would start staring back.

Instead, the portraits of Lilith stopped him in his tracks. He stood in awe of the succubus that every incubus like him wanted but could never have. He got a closer look at the portrait to get every detail and noticed that there were scratches on her back when she posed revealing her back. They were faint, but his snake eyes could see them.

“So, Satan is violent with all his lovers,” Sir Pentious whispered to himself. “Lilith is the most powerful succubus, but Delilah…”

“Sir Pentious, are you coming?” Charlie asked calling back to him from down the hall.

“Forgive me, princess,” Sir Pentious said. “You have many interesting portraits here. I couldn’t help but take a look. Your family is quite large.”

“I know, that’s how my father can spread so much evil on earth and in hell,” Charlie replied somewhat sadly. “They’re outnumbered by the angels in heaven, but that just makes them work harder.”

“Interesting,” Sir Pentious said quickly slithering to catch up with her as they continued walking around the hotel until eventually.

“Alright, here’s the lobby and over there is the café and that concludes our tour,” Charlie said writing something with her pen on her clipboard. 

“Thank you very much, your high…I mean, Charlie,” Sir Pentious said. “Now that that is out of the way, I think we’ll be returning to our room now…”

“Alright, everybody!” Vaggie shouted to the small group of demons entering the meeting room. “Session 5 is about to begin. Move it or lose it!”

“What is she talking about?” Sir Pentious wondered out loud.

“Yay! Our group therapy session is about to start!” Charlie said wrapping an arm around Sir Pentious and pushing him forward into the room.

Sir Pentious gulped audibly and protested meekly, “Your majesty, I don’t think I’m ready for…”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Charlie said walking ahead and pulling him behind her. “There’s no need to be shy. We’re all friends here.”

Sir Pentious started sweating nervously as Charlie finally pulled him into the room with the Egg Bois following behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

The room’s walls were colored pink with glitter almost everywhere. There were chairs arranged in a circle with a red rug covering the floor. 

From what Sir Pentious could see, the crowd was diverse.

There was a small, chubby dark-skinned female demon with black eyes with hot pink pupils wearing a short purple dress and a purple necklace who was eating from a box of donuts.

There was a gray-blue-skinned demon with dark blue fins on the side of his face and running along his spine until it reached the angler fish lure on the top of his head wearing a blue lab coat, black gloves, and black boots who was sitting shyly alone in his chair.

Then finally, there was a white dog demon covered in black spots with a black leg, ears pierced multiple times, yellow and red eyes, and blond and pink hair wearing a spiked dog collar, a pink dress with a skull on it, black fingerless gloves, and a black short-sleeved jacket who was curled up sleeping on the floor in the center of the circle.

“Crymini, wake up!” Vaggie yelled.

“Dammit, woman,” Crymini groaned groggily as she woke up. “What’s your deal?”

“Hey, kid, you do not give me back sass!” Vaggie retorted.

“For the last time, I died when I was 19,” Crymini growled getting in her face. “I am not a kid.”

“Ladies, please, let’s calm down,” Charlie said as she pulled a reluctant Sir Pentious into the room behind her.

“It’s not my fault this bitch was being rude,” Vaggie replied irritably before she noticed the tall snake demon being pulled into the room behind Charlie. 

“What is he doing here?” Vaggie asked defensively. 

“Well, you’re not particularly welcoming,” Sir Pentious said as Charlie let go of his hands and he crossed his arms defensively. “I thought this was supposed to be a rehab center.”

“Hey!” Vaggie retorted. “I don’t tell you how to do your job!”

“Alright, Vaggie,” Charlie said in a calm tone in an effort to calm everyone down before she started speaking up to begin the meeting. “How about we get this meeting started? Hello, everyone! This is the Happy Hotel’s newest patient, Sir Pentious! Woo!”

Sir Pentious glanced at the group and rolled his eyes at them.

“Hello, Pentious,” Angel said swinging the door open and shutting it behind him. 

“What are you doing here, Dust?” Sir Pentious hissed.

“Sir Pentious, he’s part of the group, too,” Charlie said calmly.

“So, what did I miss?” Angel asked as he slid into his chair. “Did Sir Pentious bear his soul yet?”

“You were almost late,” Vaggie chided quietly sitting herself in a chair beside him. “What the hell were you doing?”

“Relax, doll,” Angel said. “I merely had some personal business to attend to. So, what’s on the agenda today?”

“Our new member was just introducing himself, but it seems that you two already know each other,” Mimzy said sliding her box under her chair.

“Everyone knows who he is,” Baxter chimed in as he sipped from a cup of water. “Aren’t you the snake demon who’s always trying to take over hell? What are you doing here?”

“Yeah, did the incident with Cherri Bomb finally make you quit or somethin’?” Crymini asked sitting back in her chair and scratching her ear.

Sir Pentious crossed his arms defensively and said sarcastically, “Hello, fellow scum of the earth. I look forward to avoiding all of you as much as possible.”

“Well, bud, looks like someone didn’t get the memo,” Angel quipped. “This is a no bullying zone, so if you have a problem with us, I suggest you pack your bags and scram.”

Vaggie smirked while Charlie facepalmed in frustration. 

“Ok, Angel, that’s enough,” Charlie said bringing the group back to focus and sliding into her chair. “Alright, Sir Pentious, would you like to tell us the story of your life?”

“Don’t be absurd,” Sir Pentious retorted. “It’s none of your business.”

“Why?” Charlie asked. “Does it have anything to do with why you’re constantly trying to take over hell?”

“God, how long is this session?” Sir Pentious responded with annoyance.

“As long as you make it,” Vaggie retorted.

“Okay, fine,” Sir Pentious said sarcastically. “I lived in London. I wanted to be king, but the royals said no and I drank myself to death. There, happy now? I’m going back to my room. I need to talk to my Egg Bois…”

Sir Pentious tried to get up from his chair, but Charlie grabbed his tail and forced him to sit back down.

“Sir Pentious, you have to be honest with yourself and everyone else to achieve redemption,” Charlie said getting back into her chair. “You have to get in touch with what it is that is making you depressed, sad, or angry.”

“I don’t want to and you can’t make me,” Sir Pentious said rising from his chair again. “I’ll achieve redemption on my own…”

“No, you don’t, mister,” Charlie said pushing Sir Pentious back onto the chair and handcuffing his left hand to the chair he was sitting on.

“Hey!” Angel complained. “I told ya to stay out of my stash, Charlie!”

“Bloody hell, woman!” Sir Pentious shouted. “What in the hell is wrong with you? Uncuff me this instant!”

“No way!” Charlie said getting close enough for him to see her clipboard. “Not until you start talking about your life!”

“I don’t have to say anything,” Sir Pentious said turning away.

Vaggie twitched her eyes, growled, got in his face, and yelled, “Come on! You came here because you wanted to be rehabilitated. So, what is it? Why do you want to be the Devil?”

“Vaggie, get out of his face!” Charlie pleaded.

Sir Pentious glared and Vaggie reluctantly backed down as Angel said, “It really ain’t that hard, snake. What is eating you? Mommy issues? Daddy issues? Were you lonely? Were you poor? Were you a user? Or, was it something else entirely?”

“Angel…” Charlie pleaded as Angel lit a cigarette.

Sir Pentious’ glare intensified as Angel kept goading, “You know what I think? I think you had it easy in your life. I think you always got everything you wanted in life and when you died you had to work like the rest of us and couldn’t stand it. And now that you can’t get what you want here, you want to make amends with God so you can move on to Paradise and have it easy again. Typical. I could never stand rich bastards like you who had it easy. No offense to you, Charlie. You’re different. You’re trying to do something. People like Pentious here don’t give a shit. Try to tell me I’m wrong.”

Sir Pentious scoffed and hissed, “What are you talking about?! I know what your family was! We’re cut from the same cloth, ya bloody hypocrite!”

“I left those bastards long ago,” Angel argued back before taking a drag from his cigarette. “What’s your excuse?”

“THEY NEVER GAVE ME WHAT I DESERVED!” Sir Pentious finally screamed. “I WAS TORMENTED AND REJECTED BY EVERYONE! I WORKED HARDER THAN THEY DID AND WAS BARELY TOLERATED! WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE, YOU HAD ACCEPTANCE AND SOCIAL STANDING! I WAS REJECTED BY OWN BLOOD RELATIVES AND MY OWN SOCIETY ALL BECAUSE I WAS A ‘HALF-BREED!’”

Everyone went silent except Angel who asked, “What the hell does that mean?”

“That means that unlike you I’m not white,” Sir Pentious hissed more quietly. “I’m only half-English. The other half comes from India, from my mother’s people.”

Sir Pentious noticed the clipboard that Charlie had placed on the ground. He used his hat to signal to his Egg Bois to pick it up while a flood of restored memories started flowing his way.

“Uh, Sir Pentious, do you care to expand on that?” Charlie asked.

Sir Pentious looked at her and felt the kindness behind her voice. It touched him.

So, Sir Pentious began his tale, “My father was the child of a wealthy English inventor who along with his wife was radically Christian and progressive for his time. My mother was the daughter of Indian merchants who were like-minded. When my father moved with his parents to India, he fell in love with that daughter. My grandparents were close friends and approved of their union without hesitation. Soon after that, I was born. My skin was lighter because of my father, but I looked very much like my mother. I had brown skin, black hair, and steely brown-gray eyes just like hers, just like a cobra’s. That’s what they would all say. I grew up in India knowing the values of the West and the East. I had grandparents and parents who loved me and my many cousins on my mother’s side to play with. I was never considered different from any of them. I was loved, and I was happy. They all shielded me from the world’s prejudice. My grandparents both died happy. My father was happy too until my mother died. She fell ill during her pregnancy with my younger sibling. I was only nine, and from then on, everything went straight to hell…”

Sir Pentious was surprised to see tears falling down his face. Charlie walked away from her chair and wrapped an arm around Sir Pentious. The Egg Bois continued sneaking towards the chair, but Sir Pentious was too lost in his memories to notice. 

“My grandfather’s business partners forced my father to return to the homeland. He didn’t want to, but his kind and gentle heart was heartbroken and he didn’t have the strength to keep resisting. So, we both returned to London.

“Upon our arrival to London, his biological family refused to acknowledge me. They couldn’t bear the fact that my father had married an Indian woman, so he rejected them. My father was a true Christian man whose progressive values made him an outcast, but we were not alone. My father had a spiritual family in the church he grew up in. They were all radicals who were as progressive as my father if not more and were also considered outcasts in their own families. They were the righteous people who campaigned for justice locally and abroad. They ran organizations to help the poor. They sponsored abolitionists. They even campaigned for women’s suffrage. They loved their neighbors as themselves, and they accepted us without a second thought.

“My father and his friends protected me as much as they could. They raised me as much as he did. They all taught me many things, including how to play the organ, and gave me a loving environment, but even so, I knew I was an outcast. I could see it in the glances of passersby when we were out in public. I could hear it in the comments others made. I could feel it in our small insular world. My holy family always stood up for me. My father encouraged me and taught me how to stand strong. He even kept up correspondence with my family in India for me. We went to visit them whenever we were on holiday to escape, but it all wasn’t enough. I could still feel the hatred of the world I grew up in…”

Every single misfit was focused on Sir Pentious’ story. Not even Vaggie noticed when one Egg Boi picked up the documents while the other Egg Boi took pictures on his smart phone.

“Then when I was old enough to go to boarding school, I felt that hatred in its full force,” Sir Pentious continued. “Without guardians to protect me, the school tore me apart. They housed me in a room by myself as if I were some sort of animal. The other students bullied me mercilessly. They stole my possessions. They mocked me relentlessly. They called me a ‘half-breed’ and tormented me daily. None of the adults did anything to make it stop. They punished me whenever I spoke up against it. They joined in the bullying. I constantly received harsh punishments for minor infractions and rules I didn’t break. They accused me of cheating because they could never believe that a ‘half-breed’ could be more intelligent than any other white student. They marked my grades as low as they could get away with for the slightest error. The only one who was kind to me there was the colored groundskeeper who defended me whenever he could. I tried to stay strong and keep my torment a secret from my father and his friends. I excelled in my studies despite their best efforts, but the bullying only grew worse until one day the aggression got physical. 

“The strongest players from my school’s rugby team were plastered. I was walking back to my dormitory room after studying in the library all evening. They found me and beat me within an inch of my life. They left me beaten and bruised and almost too hurt to move. The groundskeeper found me, got me help, and stayed with me at the hospital while my father was called for. If I was found any later, I would have died due to the severity of my injuries.

“When my father arrived, I told him everything. He was furious. He brought multiple lawsuits against the school and brought criminal charges against the people who beat me and left me for dead. His lawyer friends helped him as much as they could, but ultimately, the school had friends in higher places. They forced my father to agree to a settlement and those bastards who almost killed me never faced a single disciplinary action…”

Sir Pentious’ frill spread out and he started shaking in fury at the restored memories. 

“I left that school and started attending classes in another college while living at home and apprenticing under my father. My father and his godly friends counseled me as much as they could, but I couldn’t let go of my anger or my hate. Their cruelty had poisoned me, but it had destroyed my father more than I ever knew. He slipped into a depression that neither I or his friends could counsel him out of. When I graduated, we worked together making inventions and bonded more closely than ever. I thought he was getting better, but one morning, I found him dead. He had drunk himself to death. It turned out that he had been drinking for a long time. The world had broken his heart.

“In his will, my father left everything to me. During his funeral, all his friends of the church, much of my mother’s family, and even the groundskeeper came to bid him farewell, to mourn with me, and to comfort me in my time of sorrow. Many of them even accompanied me to take his ashes to India. But no one in my father’s family came. Not a single person would even approach me or acknowledge my existence or pay tribute to my father. And for what? All because he had fallen in love with an Indian woman…”

Sir Pentious started shedding angry tears and his voice raised in his fury as he continued, “That was the straw that broke the camels back. I realized then that the world was a horrid place where the good and the righteous like my father and his friends couldn’t triumph because of the corrupt, racist, unjust, and white-washed vermin who crushed anyone who dared to defy their corruption! That world had broken my kind and gentle-hearted father because he refused to abandon me, so I decided that I would break it back! I could no longer turn the other cheek! I had to destroy the world that destroyed my poor father and me so that good men could triumph!

“So, instead of returning to India to live with my mother’s family away from the prejudice of England, I stayed behind and became a villain. I created inventions that I sold for profit to fund underground terrorists the world over. Anarchists. The Irish Republican Army. The freedom fighters among my mother’s people. Extreme abolitionists. All of them came to me and relied on my funding and eventually my inventions to help their causes, and I was glad to give it. I saved my assistant Toulouse from a workhouse and got his help going even further. I began carrying out terroristic missions myself. I let my black hair grow long enough to flow down my back like a hood. The survivors started calling me ‘the serpent’ in all the newspapers, so that’s who I became. ‘The serpent,’ the karmic snake in the grass that would carry out God’s wrath and rebalance the world!”

Tears flooded Sir Pentious’ eyes as he stared at the floor and relived his restored memories once again. The Egg Bois took the last of their pictures, slid the clipboard back under the chair, and gave a thumbs up to their boss. The hat saw it, but Sir Pentious didn’t respond.

“I didn’t get what I wanted,” Sir Pentious sobbed. “I got vengeance, but I didn’t see my work completed. I contracted tuberculosis at the age of 48. I died in my sick bed with Toulouse right beside me. It was so unfair…”

Charlie walked over to Sir Pentious, gave him a big hug, and said, “It’s okay, Sir Pentious. Just let it out.”

And for a few minutes, that’s just what he did.

All the misfits sat in silence except for Angel who finally broke the silence and said, “That explains why you’re obsessed with takin’ over hell…”

“Angel!” Vaggie snapped.

“What?” Angel replied. “It does. He wants to take over hell so he can finish his work of bringing down those who make the world a shitty place. It makes sense.”

“He’s not wrong,” Crymini chimed in scratching her ear with her back leg.

The two Egg Bois scampered onto their boss’ lap and gave him the biggest hugs they could.

“You’re going to be just fine, boss,” Austen said.

“Yeah,” Thrys agreed.

Sir Pentious smiled as conflicting emotions rose inside him and rested in his chest. On one hand, he felt relief at sharing his story. On the other hand, Sir Pentious felt the same odd emotion that he had felt when he saw Delilah that morning. Guilt. He had just distracted them so his Egg Bois could steal their information…

“That was a wonderful share, Sir Pentious,” Charlie said finally letting go of him.

“Thanks,” Sir Pentious replied genuinely. “Could you take the handcuffs off now?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Charlie said digging the key out of her pocket and unlocking the handcuff around Sir Pentious’ wrist.

“I’ll be taking that back,” Angel said in annoyance as he unlocked the handcuffs off the chair and stuffed them in his pocket. “Say, Sir Pentious, where did those eggs come from?”

“Huh?” Thrys asked. “What do you mean?”

“I think he’s asking where you guys came from and how you know Sir Pentious,” Charlie said.

“Oh,” Austen replied. “Well, the only one of us who knows that story completely is Toulouse. All we have our bits and pieces of his memories. Only the original has every memory, so you’d have to ask our boss.”

“Well?” Angel asked curiously. 

“If you must know, I found Toulouse when I was searching my local workhouse for an assistant,” Sir Pentious replied. “Ordinarily, anyone else would have just taken out an ad in the newspaper, but I knew that very few employees would be willing to take orders from a ‘half-breed,’ especially in London. So, I searched the workhouse instead for someone I knew would be grateful to serve me. That is when I met Toulouse.

“Toulouse was the only child of two French farmers. Their farm failed when his father died of illness, and his naïve mother thought they’d have a better chance of starting over in London. But they ended up in the workhouse instead.

“Those workhouse bastards were beyond cruel to him. Toulouse was a French immigrant who only came there to save the life of his sick mother and had no idea what he was getting into. He was only 15. He couldn't have. He didn't speak a word of English.

“The moment his mother died, he was taken back to be forcefully bathed, had his clothes taken from him, was placed in a uniform, locked away, and given a number. Number 22. He had to hide his few possessions so they wouldn't be taken from him and sold. They put him in the mentally ill ward of the workhouse with other maniacs because he was slow, depressed, and too frightened to speak.

“Modern medical literature would describe Toulouse's mental condition as a mix of high-functioning autism and attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, but back then, the doctors simply described him as a mentally deficient imbecile. It was horrible. I can't imagine how scared he must have been or how horribly those calloused monsters must have treated him.

“He slept on straw beds and ate rationed food. Toulouse was starved and isolated fairly often because he taught himself how to pick locks and frequently tried to escape that prison. Can you blame him? They put him through hell. Those monsters didn't do anything to comfort him or help him. They embezzled much of the money used to help the inmates and cut corners whenever they could!

“The day I came, Toulouse was trying to run away in a straitjacket. They were sending him to an institution so that their colleagues would receive more government money and they wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. It made me sick. I had to do something.

“So, I gave them a bigger bribe to let me take Toulouse in myself. He was in such bad shape. He was starved, scared almost to the point of mania, and unbelievably lacking in social graces. I was the only one who could speak to him or calm him down since I learned French in school and practiced it regularly in business. I had to teach him how to read, write, and speak in English. I had to teach him how to behave in formal company. I had to practically raise him. But Toulouse surprised me. He learned pretty readily. He was not stupid or mentally deficient after all. He only needed guidance, a steady hand, and a structured yet nurturing environment and he prospered. Wish I could say the same of his clones...”

“So, you’re a kinder person than you seem,” Angel said with a smile.

“No,” Sir Pentious said defensively. “I knew he’d be the perfect assistant…”

“Your Eggheads don’t look like perfect assistants to me,” Angel retorted. “Admit it. You did it out of the kindness of your heart. You became the kid’s family and he devoted his life to you, like a son.”

“Awwwww!” the Egg Bois said hugging their boss more closely.

“So, what if I did?” Sir Pentious retorted. “They were going to send a mentally disordered but perfectly capable young man to prison! It would have been a waste!”

“Whatever you say,” Angel said. “Ya big softie!”

Sir Pentious only glared at Angel for a moment before he returned to his own thoughts.

“Alright, guys! The meeting is over, and now…” Charlie said cheerfully grabbing her tuxedo and ripping it off to reveal a black and white bikini under it. “It’s time to go swimming!”

Sir Pentious’ mouth dropped open in shock as all the other misfits pushed the doors open and rushed into the pool area. Meanwhile, Austen got a call on his smartphone.

“Hey, Sir Pentious!” Charlie said cheerfully. “Aren’t you coming?”

“Yeah, Pent-y!” Angel yelled from outside wearing nothing but his booty shorts. “Come play with us!”

“I…uh…” Sir Pentious said searching for the right words in his embarrassment. 

“Boss,” Austen interrupted. “It’s Toulouse.”

Sir Pentious took the phone and said, “Toulouse, what is…? Oh, God! I’m coming.”

“Sorry, princess,” Sir Pentious said quickly slithering backwards and trying to hide his relief. “I have something urgent I need to take care of at home! Cheerio!”

“Uh, okay…” Charlie said hesitantly walking outside. “See you later. Don’t forget curfew.” 

Sir Pentious turned around and slithered quickly out of the room with the Egg Bois riding on his tail.

“Boss, what is it?” Thrys asked. 

“Delilah’s gone,” Sir Pentious replied. “Remind me to thank her later.”


	9. Chapter 9

In no time at all, Sir Pentious was back in the courtyard of his manor. The Egg Bois hopped off his tail and ran for the door while their boss lingered behind.

Sir Pentious had barely noticed time pass by. His memories and all his old emotions had occupied him so much that he barely noticed when they finally made it home.

“Hurry up, boss!” Thrys yelled snapping the snake demon back to reality. “Delilah could be in trouble.”

“Why should I care,” Sir Pentious retorted irritably.

“Boss, if Delilah’s hurt, Satan will have our hides,” Austen protested. “Well, he’ll have your hide. He’ll probably eat us alive! Please, boss! I don’t want to be the Devil’s breakfast!”

“Point taken,” Sir Pentious conceded as he slithered to the front door, unlocked the entrance, and slithered inside.

The scene inside was total chaos. Egg Bois were looking literally tearing the house apart looking for Delilah. Furniture was toppled. There were holes in the floor. There were even Egg Bois crawling around the vents calling out Delilah’s name. Poor Toulouse was in the middle of it pacing back and forth in a nervous frenzy trying to calm himself down. 

Sir Pentious slammed the door behind him furiously and yelled, “Toulouse! What is going on here?!”

“What will I do? Why can’t I calm down? Where could she be? They’re not listening to me,” Toulouse mumbled to himself seemingly not noticing his boss’s presence. “What do I do?”

Sir Pentious realized what was happening and slithered over to his chief minion.

“Toulouse,” Sir Pentious said more gently as he lowered himself to the floor so that he was closer to Toulouse’s eye level. “5 things you can see. Remember? 5 things you can see.”

“But boss, Delilah’s missing and the clones are destroying everything and they won’t listen to me,” Toulouse said very anxiously rubbing his temples. “I can’t think now! We have to…”

“Toulouse!” Sir Pentious interrupted authoritatively. “5 things you can see! Right now!”

“Okay,” Toulouse reluctantly obeyed. “Uh, you, Thrys, Austen, my hands, the floor…”

“4 things you can touch.”

“Uh, my shell, my clothes, my shoes, uh, um, uh…”

Sir Pentious leaned down and put his hand on the back of Toulouse’s head to help him concentrate.

“Your hand on my head,” Toulouse said.

“Good,” Sir Pentious said taking his hand off his assistant’s head and returning to his former posture. “Now, 3 things you can hear.”

“Uh, my hands on my face. Your voice. My voice.”

“2 things you can smell?”

“My cologne. Your cologne.”

“1 thing you can taste?”

“My coffee.”

“Good, now, take some deep breaths,” Sir Pentious said.

Toulouse took those deep breaths and felt himself calming down.

“Are you better now?” Sir Pentious asked. “Can you talk?”

“Yes, Patron,” Toulouse replied. “I’m so sorry. Delilah went missing, so I told everyone to spread out and look for her. I went outside to check the garden, but when I came back, the Egg Bois were tearing apart everything. I keep yelling at them to stop, but they won’t listen to me. Things can’t get any worse…”

“Hey, guys!” an Egg Boi said as he ran into the hall with a pipe from Sir Pentious’ organ. “I’ve just started dismantling the organ. We’ll find Delilah in no time!”

Sir Pentious’ eyes started twitching as the Egg Boi finally noticed his boss, hid the pipe behind his back, and said nervously, “Oh. Hey, boss. How was the hotel?”

He pulled out his marker, he changed the number on Toulouse’s back, and then he yelled, “That does it! All of you are going to clean this place up right now! Toulouse, number 666, is in charge! If you don’t listen to him, none of you will get dessert for a month! You got that?!”

“Yes, boss!” all the Egg Bois except Toulouse said before scrambling to clean everything up.

“How was the hotel, boss?” Toulouse asked curiously.

“Exhausting,” Sir Pentious replied. “We managed to capture some photographs of necessary documentation, but they made fun of me and made me talk about my past. I spoke about you, too. So, for that reason, and because Thrys won’t stop whining, you will be coming back with me in his place.”

“Oh, boy!” Toulouse said cheerfully. “But who will be in charge when I’m gone?”

“Thrys,” Sir Pentious replied.

“Awww!” Thrys complained while sweeping up the floor. “I hate being in charge.”

“Then, stop your whining!” Sir Pentious retorted to him before turning back to Toulouse. “Anyway, have any of you found Delilah?”

“No,” Toulouse said sadly. “And we’ve been looking everywhere. She’s a slippery little devil.”

Sir Pentious sighed and asked, “Where did you last see her?”

“In the dining hall, I think,” Toulouse replied.

“Alright,” Sir Pentious said slithering away. “Pack what you need and go help out the others. Oh, please make sure the organ still functions.”

“Oui, patron,” Toulouse said happily running off to pack his things.

Sir Pentious kept slithering until he reached the dining hall where he had encountered Satan that morning. 

The room was completely silent. That day couldn’t get any worse. 

Sir Pentiuos sighed, sat back against the table, and said quietly, “Oh, Delilah, where could you be?”

“Are they gone?” an irritated female voice answered back. 

“Delilah?” Sir Pentious exclaimed in surprise while searching for the source of the voice. “Where are you?”

“Up here,” Delilah replied.

Sir Pentious looked up to see Delilah sitting on the edge of the chandelier holding a book. She smiled at his confused expression.

“What the hell are you doing up there?!” Sir Pentious snapped. 

“Hiding from your minions,” Delilah replied unphased by his anger. “Your Egg Bois are sweet and helpful creatures who have a decent taste in clothing, but they’re annoying. They have been watching and following me everywhere all day. I couldn’t take it. I had to take a break. Besides, I found this book on a shelf and couldn’t resist taking a peak.”

“What book might that be?” Sir Pentious asked before Delilah tossed him the book and allowed him to read the title.

It was the Bible.

Sir Pentious looked back up at Delilah in surprise and asked, “You read the Bible? Why? Didn’t you live it?”

“You’re full of questions today,” Delilah remarked. “If you must know, I only lived part of the Bible. I have always wanted to know how the rest of it went. I have only read bits and pieces. You have no idea how hard this book is to find in hell.”

“But why would you want to read the Bible?” Sir Pentious asked.

“Sir Pentious, if part of your story was recorded in one of the most sacred texts in human history, wouldn’t you want to read it?” Delilah replied.

“Point taken,” Sir Pentious said. “But you need to get down immediately. And trust me. My minions are not the kind of creatures you want to be left to their own devices. Case in point, my home is now a mess!”

Delilah looked over the edge of the chandelier nervously, so Sir Pentious asked, “Can you get down without assistance?”

“I can, but I am still a little afraid of heights,” Delilah confessed.

“What?” Sir Pentious asked incredulously. “You’re a soiled dove demon and a harpy! You can fly! You shouldn’t be afraid of heights.”

“I’m not when I can fly,” Delilah retorted. “You don’t want to know how much I had to flap just to get up here in this tent you’re making me wear.”

“Well, if you can flap up, you can flap down,” Sir Pentious retorted in annoyance. “Get down here at once!”

“Yes, your majesty,” Delilah said sarcastically pulling on the blouse she was wearing before, opening her wings, and hoping off the chandelier.

Unfortunately, the blouse got caught on the top of one of her wings and Delilah came falling down.

“Ahhh!” Delilah screamed as she fell on top of Sir Pentious.

When Delilah opened her eyes, she realized that she was crushing the snake demon under the weight of her dress. 

“I am so sorry,” Delilah said pulling off her blouse and scrambling to get off Sir Pentious as quickly as she could. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Sir Pentious said standing up and rubbing the back of his neck before he looked at Delilah. “How about…?”

Delilah was absolutely stunning in her black Victorian dress even without the blouse on. He was speechless and found that he had nothing to say as he gazed upon her.

“Uh, Sir Pentious?” Delilah asked playfully.

“You are…” Sir Pentious began to say before he heard Toulouse’s voice.

“Hey, boss!” Toulouse interrupted. “Are you okay? Oh, am I interrupting something?”

Sir Pentious snapped back to reality and said sarcastically, “I’m fine, Toulouse. This cow just almost crushed me. That’s all.”

“Sir Pentious, is that any way to talk to a lady?” Delilah retorted.

“Hey, guys!” another Egg Boi yelled from the doorway. “We found Delilah!”

The dining hall started trembling as all the Egg Bois pushed their way into the dining hall and all started chattering at once.

Delilah rubbed her temples and said, “And I thought the Magne family was difficult. This is ridiculous! "Your minions dressed me like a doll and have been following me everywhere. It's been getting on my nerves, and I'm not putting up with it unless you pay me in advance."

“Well, excuse me, Ms. Dignified. All I can say, dear, is that you will get used to their presence,” Sir Pentious said with a sigh before he finally realized that Delilah was not wearing her blouse. “And another thing, put that blouse back on immediately! Have you no sense of modesty?!”

“Modesty? Modesty?!” Delilah retorted as Toulouse climbed onto the table to button up the top and bottom. “I have never worn this much clothing in my life! I am wearing enough skirts to make a rich man’s tent! How am I being immodest?”

“Wait a second,” Sir Pentious said realizing where the dress was from. “That dress is from my private quarters. Who gave you that dress?”

“We did!” Toulouse said merrily. “How do you like it?”

“It looks…” Sir Pentious began to say.

“Stylish?” Toulouse interrupted.

“Beautiful?” another Egg Boi interrupted.

“Flattering in every way?” another Egg Boi interrupted.

“I was going to say it looks fine, but I must ask you to ask next time you want to give Delilah an outfit from my personal collection,” Sir Pentious replied in annoyance. “Besides, this one is too…revealing.”

Delilah looked at her long sleeves and high Victorian collar incredulously and replied, “Revealing? Are you kidding me right now? I don’t think I could be more covered if I tried. What could women of your day accomplish in an outfit like this anyway? I’ve hardly been able to do anything since you left.”

“Many things, making visits to friends, hosting parties, bearing and rearing children, and managing the household…”

“Huh. It sounds like very little has changed in 3,000 years. Women had restricted roles in Philistine culture, too. You can’t imagine how hard I had to work to move up in the world.”

“You can’t fool me. I’ve read the Bible. You were a prostitute.”

“And I ran quite the successful business.”

“I’m sure,” Sir Pentious retorted walking up to her so that their faces were almost touching. “Admit it. You’re just a whore who leeches money away from others by selling her body. Speaking of which, would you be open for a date after dinner, love?”

“How sweet,” Delilah replied sarcastically. “I would be glad to share dinner with you, but I will attend only on the condition that you allow me to alter these clothes. I’m sick of all the skirts!”

“Fine,” Sir Pentious replied as he started slithering away. “I have to print out some photos for your ‘pimp’ anyway.”

Delilah paused for a moment before she added, “You know. You don’t have to pretend to be so cruel. I know it’s all an act. Trust me. I’ve been around men for over 3,000 years. I can tell when they’re putting on airs.”

Delilah turned around and left the room as Sir Pentious stared after her. Her words had touched his core, and he didn’t know how to take it.

Eventually, Sir Pentious just slithered away to get to work printing his photos out.


	10. Chapter 10

Sir Pentious sat in his office chair in silence as he waited on the photos to be printed out. That day had brought a lot of memories back to his mind, memories he remembered fondly and some he remembered not so fondly. 

After being in hell for over a century, Sir Pentious figured the memories wouldn’t bother him anymore and that he would forget what it was like to be a man. The truth was that time only made the memories sting more…

“Hey, boss!” his assistant’s upbeat voice called interrupting his thoughts. “Dinner’s ready and…Boss? Are you okay? Do you feel sad?”

Sir Pentious quickly turned around to see Toulouse looking him over in concern. The snake demon couldn’t help but smile. Even if he lost everything else, there was the one person he still had that made it all bearable.

“Boss?” Toulouse said walking up to him and holding his hand. “It’s okay if you’re sad. I’m right here if you need me.”

Sir Pentious suddenly snapped back to reality and said, “Don’t worry, Toulouse. I’m alright. Just a bit weary from the day’s events. How is everything going? Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah!” Toulouse said happily. 

“Good,” Sir Pentious said standing up on his tail and slithering towards the door. “Where’s Delilah?”

“Oh, that’s what I wanted to tell you,” Toulouse said. “She got her new outfit ready and she wanted to show it to you before dinner. Delilah’s right outside the door.”

“Oh,” Sir Pentious replied slithering back to his chair. “You can come in, Delilah.”

Delilah opened the door to reveal her modified outfit. She still wore the black, embroidered blouse from before, but now, she was wearing a black, knee-length, silk skirt with a silk ribbon belt across the top of it that was tied in a bow in the back. Underneath the skirt, she wore black stockings and her black boots.

Delilah and Toulouse were very pleased with the result, but Sir Pentious stood there looking absolutely horrified.

Delilah smiled as she walked in and said, “Hello, handsome. Are you ready to start our date?”

“What in God’s name are you wearing?” Sir Pentious asked in horror.

“I’m wearing an updated version of the ensemble I was wearing before,” Delilah said striking a model’s pose. “Do you like it?”

“Like it?! You destroyed my dress!”

“I’d say I improved it. Those skirts were far too heavy for any rational woman to wear.”

“You look like a prostitute,” Sir Pentious said derisively looking at her knees. 

“I look like I have class,” Delilah said confidently as she lustfully looked into Sir Pentious’s eyes. “Now, are you ready for dinner?”

Sir Pentious looked down at her legs, and his heart started beating faster. He looked up at the rest of her, and he started sweating. Delilah was so beautiful. It was no wonder that the mighty Samson fell at her feet…

Delilah smiled clearly aware of his feelings, batted her eyelashes at him, and asked, “What’s wrong, Sir Pentious? Let’s go to dinner and have some fun. Or, do you want to get right to it?”

Sir Pentious couldn’t move. He felt overcome with desire as his face flushed with embarrassment. 

“Uh, boss?” Toulouse asked confusedly. “Are you okay?”

“I NEED A MINUTE!” Sir Pentious finally yelled as he slithered past Delilah and down the hall to his organ room.


	11. Chapter 11

Sir Pentious played his organ until he calmed himself down, or more accurately, until he had calmed down his raging hormones. 

Then, the moment his hands were off the keys, the snake demon heard Toulouse say, “Boss, dinner’s ready! Are you feeling better yet?”

Sir Pentious quickly turned around and replied, “Yes, Toulouse, I’m feeling better. Thank you for asking…Where’s Delilah?”

“Oh, she’s sitting at the table already,” Toulouse responded happily. “And don’t worry. We helped her change into something much more appropriate!”

“Oh, you did?” Sir Pentious asked while getting up from his bench. “Well then, I think I should…hand sanitizer…”

Toulouse quickly pulled a small bottle of hand sanitizer out of his pocket and squirted some on his boss’s hands.

Sir Pentious rubbed the disinfectant all over his hands before continuing, “I think I should officially begin our date.”

“She’s in the dining room, boss,” Toulouse said sitting on his boss’s tail.

“Excellent,” Sir Pentious said adjusting his hat. “Oh, Toulouse, I can’t wait. Tonight is going to be fun.”

“Okay, boss, just remember to be gentle with her,” Toulouse replied somehow climbing onto his boss’s shoulder. “Remember. She’s here because she has no choice.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Toulouse,” Sir Pentious replied nonchalantly. “I’ll go easy on her. I’m only using her for practice after all. I’ll just have to pretend she’s Lilith…”

“Okay, boss,” Toulouse warned. “Just remember to use a condom and not hurt her. She’s already been through enough with Satan.”

Sir Pentious paused for a moment before entering the dining room as he remembered how Delilah looked that morning. 

“I’ll go easy on her,” Sir Pentious said out loud as he opened the door. “Maybe we can just stick to cuddling for tonight…”

Sir Pentious opened the door to see Delilah wearing a black ballgown with straps hanging off the shoulders and open back for her wings, white silk gloves, a white feather in her hair, and a yellow diamond choker around her neck.

“Hello, Sir Pentious,” Delilah said curtseying in her gown with a smile. “Your courtesan is ready…”

Sir Pentious’s mouth once again hung open while Toulouse slid down his back and off his tail.

“You like it?” Delilah asked with a suggestive smirk. “I do. By the way, I accept this yellow diamond choker as payment for the first month…or two. Depending on my mood.”

Sir Pentious was frozen in captivation at Delilah’s beauty. 

After standing there frozen, Toulouse climbed up Sir Pentious’s back again and whispered in his ear, “Boss, you need to say something.”

Sir Pentious then finally snapped back to reality, shut his mouth as Toulouse slid back down his back, and quickly found something to say, “Hey! Where did you find that choker?! That’s not yours!”

“The Egg Bois brought it to me because ‘it matches my eyes,’” Delilah replied running her fingers over the choker. “I love it, and I intend on keeping it. It was going to waste just sitting in there collecting dust. You should know that Lilith already has an entire wardrobe of clothes and many jewels from Satan already.”

Sir Pentious tried to hide his blush and said, “That is certainly useful information, but I fail to see how it pertains to what is going on right now…”

Delilah rolled her eyes and interrupted, “Come on. It’s obvious.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sir Pentious retorted looking away and crossing his arms. 

“Really?” Delilah asked raising an eye brow. “I’ve read your poetry. ‘As I look into your eyes, I freeze and almost panic as I see a majestic creature emerged from the tree of the forbidden fruit.’”

“You can stop now!”

" ‘I slither towards you, and drool while my frill quivers from you horns that I could’ve sworn were made of licorice and spice.’ "

Toulouse and his clones began giggling in the background. 

“Silence!” Sir Pentious said embarrassedly.

“And my personal favorite, ‘I would do anything to have one taste of the nectar of your white flo...’” Delilah continued before Sir Pentious cut her off.

“Ok!” Sir Pentious interrupted desperately. “You can have the choker! Consider it your first payment! Just please don't tell anyone!”

At this point, all the Egg Bois were laughing out loud.

“Shut up, all of you!” Sir Pentious yelled.

They all immediately shut up and starting filing out of the room even though they were snickering under their breath.

“Yes, patron,” Toulouse said. “We’ll just go to the kitchen to eat our food.”

“You aren’t dining with us?” Delilah asked confusedly.

“Oh, no,” Toulouse said as the last of the Egg Bois retreated to the kitchen. “We’ll eat in here. It’s no problem.”

“Fine by me,” Sir Pentious said in annoyance.

“Can we turn down the lights now?” one of the Egg Bois loudly whispered from the kitchen.

“Yes,” Toulouse replied just before the lights went down in the dining room.

“Toulouse, what is wrong with the lights?” Sir Pentious asked confusedly going to open the curtains. “And why are the curtains drawn?” 

“Must be a faulty circuit,” Toulouse lied as he slid in front of his boss and ushered him back towards Delilah. “You don’t need to open the curtains. We have candles.”

“What?” Sir Pentious asked quietly. “Toulouse, what are you up to?”

“Nothing,” Toulouse replied. “Just trying to give you that romantic dinner alone with Delilah. That’s what you wanted. Remember?”

“Oh,” Sir Pentious said just remembering what he said earlier. “That’s right. Well, keep up the good work.”

“Alright, boss,” Toulouse said running backwards in front of him. “Go on. Enchant her with your words. Just remember to use a condom.”

Toulouse ran back to the kitchen as the other Egg Bois finished lighting the candles on the table and ran back to the kitchen.

Sir Pentious couldn’t help but pause. The candlelight brought out the gold in Delilah’s eyes, lit up her necklace, and reflected in her skin in such a way that it shined like silver in the light. She was absolutely stunning. Sir Pentious couldn’t help but smile.

Delilah finished sipping her wine and took a bite of the ham on her dinner plate before she turned to the Snake Demon with an amused grin that helped him back to his senses.

Sir Pentious opened his mouth to speak. Meanwhile, the Egg Bois were watching the hidden camera footage through a secret monitor they were all watching and eating their dinners from the kitchen floor in anticipation.

“That choker suites you,” Sir Pentious said.

“Really?” Delilah asked playfully.

“Yes, it reminds me of a verse in the Bible, specifically the one about casting not your pearls unto swine,” Sir Pentious replied sarcastically as he slithered to his seat.

Back in the kitchen, Toulouse facepalmed and all the Egg Bois groaned in disappointment.

Delilah scoffed and said, “I’ve heard worst insults on a first date, but they’re less believable coming from you. I already know you don’t mean it.”

Sir Pentious looked away in embarrassment and said, “I suppose. I apologize, Delilah. I’m just…I’m just not used to having this type of company in my home.”

“You mean the company of a courtesan?” Delilah asked with a smirk.

Sir Pentious gulped feeling even more embarrassed than before.

“Don’t worry,” Delilah said holding her wine glass in her hand. “I don't mind it. You're much more of a gentleman than Satan. You didn't take advantage of me at my weakest even though you wanted to. I can count on one hand how many times I've seen that in almost 3,100 years."

Sir Pentious picked up his fork and said, “How did you know I wanted to?”

“Easy,” Delilah said before taking a sip of her wine. “I’m a succubus. I can sense desire in a male demon. Even when the desire isn’t for me.”

“What are you talking about?” Sir Pentious asked defensively.

“I’d be careful if I were you,” Delilah replied without missing a beat. “Those who go after Satan’s wife usually end up disappearing into the flames if you know what I mean.”

Delilah ate her food silently while Sir Pentious sat there recovering from the sting of her audacious tongue.

“Duly noted,” Sir Pentious finally replied prompting Delilah to look up again. “But as soon as Satan gets you pregnant with his new Anti-Christ, he’ll probably kick her out. Then Lilith will come crawling over to me.”

Sir Pentious returned to eating his ham and his salad trying to ignore Delilah’s disbelieving eyes.

“You are better than that,” Delilah replied. “You have something good inside you.”

“Oh, don’t tell me you buy the princess’s nonsense, too,” Sir Pentious said rolling all of his eyes and tightening his bow tie. “My desire to rule Hell is all there is to me. What do you think is in me besides my ambition?”

“A rainbow,” Delilah answered with a confident smirk. “There is a rainbow inside of you, snake demon. I can see it.”

Sir Pentious finally stopped his eating, searched Delilah’s confident glance, and asked, “What has Charlie done to you?”

“She made me better,” Delilah replied.

“Whatever,” Sir Pentious said returning to his eating. “What do you know about what I truly desire?”

“I told you,” Delilah replied with a smirk taking a quick sip of wine before continuing. “I’m a succubus. I can sense desire. That’s how I knew you’d be a good ally.”

Sir Pentious scoffed and said, “And I thought succubi could only use desire to find the right companion.”

“Not me,” Delilah said in a tone that was significantly sadder. “I betrayed my mate thousands of years ago, and now, I can’t find another one.”

Sir Pentious looked at her with a softer expression and said, “You’re kidding. Not once in 3,100 years?”

“No,” Delilah said with a brief head shake. “The only man I've ever loved was Samson. When I died, God said I would never enjoy the benefits of love until I found a truly loving relationship, but joke's on me. True love is a rarity in hell.”

Sir Pentious scoffed and said, “Love doesn’t exist here.”

“You’re wrong about that, too,” Delilah said cutting up a piece of ham.

“Oh?” Sir Pentious replied amusedly.

“Yes,” Delilah said looking up from her plate. “The love I've found is from Charlie. Nannying her and taking care of her was the happiest I've ever been. I consider her as my own. Charlie was and still is a wonderful young lady. She was never condescending like all the others. She loved me despite who I was and inspired me to be a better person. We still talk through letters. I was one of the few to know about her hotel long before anyone else did. I know she'll make a difference. After all, Charlie’s no demon. She’s one of God’s angels.”

Delilah smiled to herself while Sir Pentious took a bite of his food and thought about what she said for a moment before she continued, “All that to say…”

Suddenly, Delilah released her talons and brandished them threateningly in front of the Snake Demon causing him to freeze in panic.

Delilah’s eyes went from quietly confident to completely serious as she said, “I have no idea what Satan has you doing, but if you hurt Charlie, I will rip your heart out myself.”

“I don’t have anything against Charlie,” Sir Pentious replied defensively. “Honestly, I’m only doing this because Lucifer is forcing me to. I have no intention of hurting the princess. She may be annoying at times, but unlike her father, Charlie has no intention of hurting anyone…on purpose anyway.”

Delilah instantly retracted her talons, allowed her serious expression to relax, and replied, “Good. Then, we have an understanding. Tell me. What does Satan have you doing anyway?”

“Satan is making me spy on the Hotel,” Sir Pentious replied. “He wants me to scrounge up any information on his daughter’s hotel. Today, the Egg Bois and I took pictures of a clipboard and found information on the hotel’s guest capacity. Finding the other information is going to be much harder.”

Delilah swallowed the last bit of food in her mouth, allowed her eyes to glow bright gold, and said, “Another word of warning, kingpin. Do not play with Charlie's emotions.”

Sir Pentious sat there in stunned silence not knowing what to say next. His heart beat faster in a panic when Delilah got up from her spot at the table, walked over to the kingpin, and sat herself in his lap. 

Delilah’s expression then changed into a more suggestive gaze as she leaned against Sir Pentious’s cheek and said, “If you do all that I ask like a good boy, I’ll let you make love to me.”

Delilah then gave the kingpin a kiss on the cheek. Sir Pentious froze for a moment before he gently grabbed onto Delilah’s face and prepared to give her the loving of a lifetime.

Unfortunately, that was when Toulouse came in carrying his bag.

“Boss!” Toulouse said almost out of breath. “We have to leave now! One of the spybots sent us an alert. I’m not sure what’s going on, but Charlie and her friends do not look happy right now! Uh…am I interrupting something important?”

Delilah got herself off Sir Pentious’s lap and made her way back to her side of the table while Sir Pentious stood up and straightened up his tux. 

Sir Pentious blushed as he looked at Delilah and said, “We’ll have to take a rain check, my dear.”

“I understand,” Delilah said sitting back in her chair with a wink. “I’ll save the best for you.”

“See ya later, Delilah,” Toulouse replied before he opened the door to the kitchen for his boss to walk through. 

“I look forward to it,” Delilah replied as she took the last remaining sips of her wine.

Sir Pentious slithered through the doorway taking one last look at Delilah before he held his hand to the cheek Delilah kissed and smiled as he allowed the door to shut behind him.

Toulouse and the other Egg Bois grinned at each other in satisfaction at their successful mission.


	12. Chapter 12

Sir Pentious and his two Egg Bois returned to the Happy Hotel late.   
By the time they arrived, the hotel lobby was dark and empty.   
Sir Pentious smiled and whispered to his minions, “Toulouse, Austen, you two need to be quiet. Everyone’s asleep and waking them will only cause trouble. Understood?”  
Sir Pentious, Toulouse, and Austen slithered quietly through the lobby until they heard the sound of snoring. The trio looked up and saw Charlie sitting at the front desk with her head resting on top of her arms. She was fast asleep.  
“It’s alright,” Sir Pentious whispered. “The princess is asleep. Make your way up to the room. I’ll make sure she stays asleep.”  
“Oui, patron,” Toulouse whispered as he followed Austen to the elevator to get to their room.  
Sir Pentious looked back to Charlie and noticed that she was lying on top of a brightly-colored paper.   
The Kingpin slithered over to get a closer look and saw that Charlie had been using crayons to draw a group picture of all the demons in the Hotel including himself and his two Egg Bois.  
Sir Pentious held mixed feelings in his heart as he remembered what Delilah had told him. Charlie really did have a pure heart. No wonder her father wanted to crush it.  
The kingpin turned away and sighed deeply as he slowly slithered away to the elevator.  
Meanwhile back at his mansion, Delilah was still in her black ballgown washing the dishes that would not fit into the dishwasher in the kitchen.   
The Egg Bois did not want her to lift a finger, but Delilah insisted upon helping. It was the least she could do. Sir Pentious and the other Egg Bois had been so good to her that day. It was nice after the loneliness she had dealt with since Charlie had moved away…  
Suddenly, Delilah felt clawed hands wrap around her torso and a head rest upon her shoulder and looked down to see the familiar white hands.  
“Is that snake making you work in an outfit this lovely?” the intimidating voice asked playfully. “That brute…”  
Delilah sighed deeply in disappointment and said, “Good evening, your majesty.”  
“Good evening, Delilah,” Satan replied as Delilah slowly turned around.  
“What in the nine circles of hell are you doing washing dishes in a ballgown?” Satan asked as he held Delilah against his chest.   
“He didn’t ask me to do this,” Delilah replied not fighting against the Devil’s hold. “I volunteered because I wanted to help. It was the least I could do for his hospitality. I suppose you’re here for…”  
“Yes, I am,” Satan replied bluntly. “Soon, I’m going to be on a mission that will keep me away for a few months, so I thought I’d try again with you now before I got too busy.”  
“I understand,” Delilah said with a defeated sigh. “Let’s get it over with then.”  
“Good concubine,” Satan said mockingly as he picked her up. “Don’t worry, Delilah. I’ll be gentle tonight.”   
From around the corner, Thryce and two other Egg Bois watched sadly as the Devil teleported away with Delilah.  
They reappeared in Sir Pentious’s room. The Devil telekinetically pulled the covers back and started untying the corset on Delilah’s dress.  
As soon as he finished, Satan said, “Go use the bathroom, change out of your clothes, and brush your teeth. I’ll be out here waiting.”  
Delilah obediently walked into the bathroom and did all that the Devil asked. The last thing she did was take off her choker.   
After she took the choker off, Delilah stared at it with a smile on her face. Despite how the day began and how it was ending, it was one of the best days she had had in millennia…  
Knock! Knock! Knock!  
“Delilah, dear…” Satan said from the other side of the door. “Are you ready?”  
Delilah quickly laid the choker on top of the toilet and answered the door.   
As usual, Satan was standing there in his…glory…  
“Now, shall we begin?” Satan asked stepping out of Delilah’s way as she walked past him, laid herself down on her back, and spread her legs.  
The Devil snapped his fingers turning off all the lights before he climbed onto the bed and rested his head against Delilah’s breasts.  
“Is the snake treating you well?” Satan asked.  
“Yes, he’s been good to me,” Delilah replied.  
The Devil lifted up his head and smelled his concubine’s face.  
“So, he kissed you?” he asked.  
“I kissed him,” Delilah replied.  
“Awww,” Satan said mockingly. “He hasn’t been loving you? I’ll have to make that up to you right now.”  
Satan then made his connection inside her and moved himself in and out of Delilah.  
Meanwhile, Delilah laid there thinking about the day that had passed.   
She had risked a lot to ask the kingpin to be her ally. Delilah had risked even more in telling her about her relationship with Charlie. Charlie was the person she loved and wanted to protect the most. Other denizens of hell would use that information against her, but Sir Pentious, he was different. Charlie would say he had a rainbow inside him.  
Delilah smiled. She couldn’t place her finger on what it was, but somehow, she knew Sir Pentious would honor her request. It had been an eternity since she had someone who she could rely on like that. It made her feel hopeful enough to pray.  
As the Devil continued his relentless plowing, Delilah found herself relaxing enough to fall asleep.  
When Satan was done, he looked at his concubine’s face surprised that she had fallen asleep and then at her womb to see if there was a child. There wasn’t.  
Satan growled in frustration. He should have been able to sire three children by now. It didn’t make any sense.   
“I may have to resort to a plan b,” Satan muttered under his breath.  
The Devil sighed again in annoyance as he got off the bed, summoned his clothes back to his body, and teleported away.  
As soon as he was gone, the Egg Bois crept into the room to check on Delilah.   
When they saw that she was fast asleep and that she was naked, the Egg Bois quietly averted their eyes, climbed onto the bed, and pulled the covers over her naked body before silently filing out of the room to let her sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Sir Pentious thought he was the first to wake up.

He noticed his Egg Bois sleeping at the bottom of the bed as he stood up and stretched. They were already dressed and their sleeping bags were all put away. They must have fallen asleep again while waiting for him.

Toulouse was sprawled out on the right side of the bed while Austen was holding his wind-up monkey toy. They both looked adorable.

Sir Pentious smiled and rubbed Toulouse’s head as he grabbed his tux and headed into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

About ten minutes later, the snake demon slithered out of the bathroom to see his two minions sitting on the bed waiting for him.

“Good morning, patron!” Toulouse said with a smile. 

“Yeah!” Austen said while cuddling his wind-up monkey. “What’s today’s agenda, boss?”

“We are going to figure out this hotel’s financial situation,” Sir Pentious explained while dusting off his sleeping hat. “The papers we obtained from yesterday's session only provided information on the current demons living in this hotel."

“Okay, so what do we do first?” Toulouse asked. 

Sir Pentious placed his hat on his head and then heard his stomach growling.

“First, we get some breakfast,” Sir Pentious said opening their bedroom door. “Come along.”

“Okay, patron,” Toulouse said as he and Austen hopped onto their boss’s tail.

Sir Pentious and his Egg Bois then made their way downstairs to catch some breakfast. They slithered into the café past the residents of the Happy Hotel without saying a word to any of them and took their seats in a booth at a distance from the others.

After deciding what they all wanted, Austen took their menus and went to look for Nifty to place their order.

Toulouse sat there quietly lost in thought while Sir Pentious studied the crowd of people in the café. 

Besides the occasional sideways glance, the other hotel inhabitants didn’t seem to be bothered with him or his minions.

That was just as well. They had a job to do and did not need the other hotel residents getting in the way…

“Hey, boss!” Austen yelled as he walked along with the small cyclops with 50’s back over to the table. “We have a problem. This lady says we aren’t allowed to eat here unless we talk to management first.”

“What?!” Sir Pentious yelled back in annoyance. “What is the meaning of this?!”

“Sorry, Sir Pentious,” Nifty said handing the snake demon a piece of paper. “Your meal plan is being placed on hold until you talk to management. Those are the rules.”

Sir Pentious growled in annoyance as he and his Egg Bois got up from the table and made their way to the front desk.

Once they got there, Sir Pentious hit the bell on the front desk and yelled, “Hello?! Can I talk to the manager please?!”

Vaggie came in looking irritated and said sternly, “You’ve got some nerve.”

“What did I do?” Sir Pentious asked crossing his arms. “I simply came here to ask why I and my minions can’t receive our breakfast.”

“Didn’t you hear what Charlie said about our curfew?” Vaggie asked angrily.

“Curfew?” Sir Pentious asked. “What are you talking about? We never heard anything about a curfew.”

“I wasn’t even here before last night,” Toulouse added. “I don’t know anything.”

“Vaggie, is there a problem here?” Charlie asked at the front desk before she noticed Sir Pentious. “Hey! Where were you last night? I was really worried.”

Sir Pentious bit his lips while trembling a bit and trying to come up with an explanation towards his predicament.

“Well, why did you get back so late last night?” Charlie asked.

“Well, your majesty, I still have a home to look after, but I knew the Egg Bois couldn’t do it by themselves,” Sir Pentious said scratching his frill. “I have had to hire someone to look after my property, so I need to check on them at regular intervals to be sure they’re doing alright.”

"Yeah, and Delilah is doing a pretty good job," Austen said popping out of Sir Pentious’s frill before he grabbed him with his tail and tossed him across the room.

“Weeee!” Austen yelled as he flew across the room and landed on the couch. “I’m okay!”

“Wait?” Charlie said as her eyes shined in surprise. “Delilah? White Succubi? White wings with black splotches? Black hair? The philistine woman from the Bible?”

“Wait, are you talking about the woman that was with your father the other day?” Vaggie asked. “Why would she be with the likes of you?"

“Vaggie, please,” Charlie begged before turning back to Sir Pentious desperately. “Is this true, Sir Pentious?”

Try as he might, Sir Pentious could not resist Charlie’s pleading eyes.

“There is an explanation,” Sir Pentious said sweating nervously as someone walked into the lobby. "Like I said I needed a housekeeper, and I couldn't find a trustworthy…"

“I believe I can explain that for you, Sir Pentious,” said the all-too-familiar voice.

Everyone turned around to see the Devil himself holding a box.

“Father,” Charlie said adjusting her tuxedo and crossing her arms. “What are you doing here?”

Satan looked around and said, “Well I hate to admit, Charlotte, but it’s not a bad start. Not good, but not bad. Anyway, I just came here to drop off some items you left at home."

Satan set down the box on the check-in counter before he continued, “I also thought you’d like to know that Delilah is Sir Pentious’s new house slave.”

Charlie gasped.

“She’s not a slave,” Sir Pentious blurted out. “She’s just…”

Sir Pentious fell silent when Satan wrapped an arm around his shoulders causing him to shiver.

“Sir Pentious here needed someone to watch his home for him while he was being rehabilitated,” Satan said. “In exchange, he gave me back all the territory he took in the Pentagram. Isn’t that right, Sir Pentious?”

Satan looked at Sir Pentious with glowing red eyes. 

Sir Pentious just managed to meekly nod his head and slither back towards the café with the Egg Bois walking briskly behind him.

Unbeknownst to them, Angel was silently watching from around the corner.

“Why did you sell Delilah?!” Charlie yelled. 

Satan shrugged and said, “Delilah was being difficult, so why not?” before turning to look around the lobby.

“Damn,” Angel said quietly to Vaggie having snuck by her side while her attention was occupied. “Even biblical status doesn’t get you any respect.”

“I heard that, slut,” Satan interjected causing Angel to camouflage himself and sneak away.

“Delilah was my nanny!” Charlie protested getting her father’s attention once again. “Delilah worked for us. We paid her. She isn't a slave! You can't sell her like one!"

“Yeah? So what? You don't need a nanny anymore,” Satan said condescendingly as he leaned against the wall. “Besides, she is useful in different places. I'm sure Pentious is making her useful if you know what I mean.”

Charlie crossed her arms and said angrily, “He wouldn’t. Sir Pentious isn’t that kind of person anymore.”

Satan scoffed and said, “You keep thinking that Charlotte. You are not God. You can’t see a man’s heart. You can’t change a wicked man’s heart either. I’ve messed them up too much.”

Charlie looked away angrily trying not to cry.

Satan got off the wall and said, “Anyway, I must be going. By the way, Charlotte, your ex called. He wants to get back together with you.”

“I already told you and him that that’s never gonna happen,” Charlie said stubbornly walking back to the counter where Vaggie was standing. “Besides, I’m with someone else now.”

Satan sighed and said, “You just have to keep disappointing me. Don’t you?”

“I’m not your little girl anymore,” Charlie said turning her back on Satan. “Now, if you don’t have anything else to say, you can leave. You’re upsetting the other patients.”

“Fine,” Satan said walking towards the door. “I have other work to do anyhow. By the way, Charlotte, your elevator’s broken.”

“No, it isn’t,” Charlie replied.

Satan smirked, pointed his staff to the elevator control panel, and zapped it instantly causing the elevator to crash down onto the first floor. 

Everyone present gasped in shock except Vaggie.

“WE JUST INSTALLED THAT!” Vaggie screamed stomping around the fence and marching up to the Devil himself. “You've got to be the most primitive, disrespectful, self-centered, inconsiderate…”

Satan scoffed and replied, “You’re almost as big a bitch as your mother.”

“Why, you…” Vaggie snarled trying to make a lunge for him just before Charlie ran in front of her.

“Father, how could you do that?!” Charlie yelled.

“Why not?” Satan asked. 

“Can you at least pay to fix it?” Charlie asked.

“Why don’t you ask Alastor?” Satan responded. “He’s the one who sponsors you.”

“Then, just leave,” Charlie said angrily. 

“Fine by me,” Satan replied turning to walk away. “Call me when you’ve given up on this dumb scheme. I’ll be waiting for your apology.”


	14. Chapter 14

Back in the lobby, everyone had gathered around to examine the broken elevator. 

“Fucking Satan,” Vaggie muttered out loud while looking at some budget papers. “Now, what are we gonna do? It’ll take us weeks to rebuild this damn elevator.”

“Calm down, doll,” Angel said puffing out the smoke of his cigarette. “We can just ask Alastor to buy us a new one.”

“Yeah, and give the shitlord another way to screw us over?” Vaggie asked rhetorically. “No, thank you.”

Charlie was still sitting on the couch and stewing over what had happened.

“Ugh, why can’t my father just leave me alone?” Charlie asked. “Oh, well. Calm down. I’m sure Baxter can fix the elevator…”

Meanwhile, back in the empty café, Toulouse was watching the scene unfold on his tablet because of the spider drone in the lobby while he, Austen, and Sir Pentious were eating food they had swiped from the kitchen.

“Wow, it looks like the princess could use some help,” Toulouse noted between bites of pancakes. 

“That is not our problem right now,” Sir Pentious groaned out loud rubbing his temples while Austen fanned him with a menu. “That damn Devil stealing all my territory and leaving me with nothing! How does he expect me to focus on his daughter now that my territorial takeover is ruined!”

“It’s not all bad,” Toulouse said. “You could still earn Charlie’s trust if you help her with her elevator problem.”

Austen stopped fanning the snake demon and moved on to rubbing his back. 

“‘Not all bad?’” Sir Pentious whined. “Toulouse, what is a kingpin without territory? I’ve been disgraced.”

“But you’re still an engineer, boss,” Toulouse said gesturing to the tablet. 

Sir Pentious scoffed and said, “They have that Baxter fellow. I’m sure he can do something.”

BANG!

“What in the blazes was that?!” Sir Pentious exclaimed as he and his minions got out of their booth and headed toward the source of the noise.

After hearing a few more loud bangs, the trio found themselves in the elevator control room where Baxter was desperately trying to fix the elevator using chemicals and a welding torch.

“NO! NO! NO!” Sir Pentious yelled in horror as he slithered in the room. “What in the hell are you doing?! You’re just making it worse!”

“I was just…” Baxter managed to stammer out.

“Get out!” Sir Pentious said shoving Baxter out of the room. “Imbecile! You’re a doctor, not an engineer! Now, get out!”

“But…” Baxter meekly protested as Sir Pentious shoved him out of the room and shut the door.

“If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s abused machinery,” Sir Pentious said indignantly. “Austen, Toulouse, go get my tools…”


	15. Chapter 15

Austen and Toulouse retrieved the tools from their room and brought them back to their boss with surprisingly no notice from anyone.

Sir Pentious began his work immediately upon receiving them.

Meanwhile, after about an hour of sulking, Charlie was having a meeting in her office with Vaggie and Angel going through the budget over and over again to see if there was any way they could afford to fix the hotel’s only elevator.

“Oh, man,” Charlie whined. “We’re going to have to make so many budget cuts just to pay for these repairs if Baxter can’t do anything.”

“We have no choice, Charlie,” Vaggie said.

“I still don’t get why we can’t just ask Alastor for more money,” Angel added leaning back seductively in his chair. 

“And be further indebted to that talk show shitlord?” Vaggie replied. “No, thank you!”

Suddenly, the three of them heard the sound of a drill.

“What is that racket?” Angel asked out loud as he went to investigate with his girl buddies following behind him.

Meanwhile, back in the control room, Sir Pentious and his Egg Bois were hard at work fixing the elevator. Austen was running for tools while Toulouse was sitting on Sir Pentious’s shoulder watching in case there was something he missed.

“Austen, get me a 3/25 wrench,” Sir Pentious ordered.

“Here, you go,” Austen said handing him a wrench from the tool bag. 

Sir Pentious looked at the wrench, frowned, tossed the wrench back, grabbed Austen, and said, “I asked for 3/25, not 5/8. Stay focused!"

Sir Pentious tossed his Egg Boi back over to the tool box as he jovially said, “Yes, boss!”

Austen then brought over the right wrench allowing Sir Pentious to get back to work.

“Ok, almost there…and done,” Sir Pentious said as he closed the panels and tested out the machine.

The mechanisms worked perfectly. 

Sir Pentious felt a giant smile form on his face. Unbeknownst to him, Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel were watching from the doorway.

“Great, now the only thing that needs to be replaced is the elevator box,” Sir Pentious said. “We will need to dig up the elevator box.”

“We’ll need all the Egg Bois to help,” Austen said. 

“Hey, boss?” Toulouse said. “Maybe you could give Charlie your elevator at home. You never use it back at the mansion.”

“I don’t know,” Sir Pentious said hesitantly. “That elevator was custom made. You know.”

“I know it’ll make your courtesan happy,” Toulouse prodded causing Sir Pentious to unconsciously blush.

“Yeah,” Austen added. “What do you think of her so far?”

“Delilah has been interesting so far in the 24 hours she's lived with us,” Sir Pentious admitted. “Hopefully, she’ll be interesting enough to keep me entertained if we can get her used to dressing like a proper woman. I have given her enough time to heal from how that brute treated her. I wonder how she likes it…”

Angel coughed to get attention. 

Toulouse turned around, saw the trio standing in the doorway, and said, “Uh, boss…?”

“I wonder if she prefers being on top or being on the bottom…” Sir Pentious continued.

“Boss!” Toulouse said. 

“Maybe I’ll let her wrap her legs around me,” Sir Pentious said. “Or maybe I’ll wrap myself around her and do it from behind…”

“BOSS!” Toulouse yelled pulling on Sir Pentious’ frill and gesturing behind him.

“Toulouse, what is it?” Sir Pentious asked before he annoyedly turned around and froze in shock at the Princess and her friends standing right there before her. 

Charlie’s eyes were glowing red. Toulouse hopped down from his boss’s shoulder and cowered fearfully next to Austen on the floor.

Sir Pentious began shaking like a leaf in regret and started to ramble out, “Oh, your highness, I didn’t mean all that stuff. I didn’t mean concubine in the normal sense. I only meant that…”

“ARE YOU ABUSING DELILAH?!” Charlie shrieked instantly shifting angrily into her demonic form to the surprise of Angel and Vaggie. 

Sir Pentious bowed before Charlie and pleaded, “I swear I would never hurt Delilah. She is no common whore. She’s a noble, intelligent woman. She told me all about you and how kind, generous, and beautiful you are! I would never touch her without her consent! I swear! Please have mercy!”

“ARE YOU USING HER OR NOT?!” Charlie shrieked.

“No, I’m not!” Sir Pentious replied.

“DELILAH IS MORE THAN JUST A PROSTITUTE! SHE DOESN’T DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE TRASH!”

“I know. I was only boasting. Please, let me make it up to you…”

“Yeah,” Toulouse added. “They haven’t even kissed yet!”

“Yes…” Sir Pentious said before realizing what Toulouse had just said. “Wait, what do you mean by yet?”

“Yeah, Sir Pentious only likes Delilah a little bit,” Austen added. “The only one he’s in love with is…”

Sir Pentious covered Austen’s mouth with his tail and pleaded, “Shut up!”

“Sir Pentious has been taking really good care of Delilah,” Toulouse said. “He has let her use his shower, given her new clothes, and had dinner with her. Delilah offered himself to her and gave him a kiss on the cheek and Sir Pentious wanted to take her, but…”

Sir Pentious grabbed Toulouse, covered his mouth, and said, “You imbecile! You’re not helping either!”

Charlie shifted back into her normal form and said, “Sir Pentious, I order you to let us use your elevator and let me see Delilah right now to make it up to me.”

“But Princess Charlie, taking my elevator would…” Sir Pentious began to complain before being interrupted again.

“You said you wanted to make it up to me,” Charlie said. “Right?”

“Yes, but…” Sir Pentious protested.

“You did say you would make it up to her, boss,” Austen said.

“Yeah, boss, it’s only fair,” Toulouse said. “You did say you wanted to do everything you could to help the hotel. Right?”

Sir Pentious sighed in defeat, let the Austen and Toulouse ride on his tail, slithered past the trio, and said, “Alright, your highness. Come along, Bois. Let’s take Princess Charlie home.”

“We can take the limo,” Charlie said following behind them. “Razzle, Dazzle, you’re coming with me. Vaggie, Angel, I’m going to see Delilah and pick up the new elevator. Vaggie, you’re in charge until I get back.”

“No,” Vaggie said grabbing Charlie’s hand. “I’m coming with you. You never know what this snake might do.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Charlie said gently taking Vaggie’s hand off hers. “I’ve got Razzle and Dazzle with me. You just look after the Hotel. I’ll be back soon.”

With that, Charlie walked away and led Sir Pentious, Toulouse, and Austen to her limo.


	16. Chapter 16

The limo ride was unbearable, particularly for Sir Pentious who could feel Charlie’s angry aura from the other side of the limo.

The snake demon regretted ever opening his big mouth and talking about Delilah like some ill-mannered vagrant. He looked out the window to avoid having to look at Charlie. 

Toulouse sat next to him watching Austen play cards on the floor with Razzle, who had stayed in the back compartment of the car to protect Charlie while Dazzle drove the limo.

“Do you have 5’s?” Austen asked.

Razzle responded only by shaking his head.

“Can you talk?” Austen asked scratching his head with one hand while holding his playing cards with the other.

Razzle growled causing Austen to shake fearfully.

“Razzle, it’s fine,” Charlie said. 

Razzle calmed down and continued the game while Sir Pentious continued rubbing his temples in frustration.

“Why don’t you talk to her, boss?” Toulouse suddenly whispered.

Sir Pentious looked at him in surprise and whispered back, “What should I say?”

“I’ll talk first,” Toulouse whispered back.

“No, Toulouse, wait…” Sir Pentious replied in a panic.

“So, Charlie, how do you know Delilah?” Toulouse blurted out before Sir Pentious could stop him.

Charlie froze for a moment unsure how to respond to this sudden question from Toulouse, but then she responded, “Delilah was my nanny. She took care of me when my father and my mother weren’t around. She was always so kind to me. She was one of my inspirations for opening the Happy Hotel.”

“That’s really swell…” Toulouse replied with a sincere smile before receiving a message from the hive mind that caused him to freeze in place along with Austen.

“Hello?” Charlie asked in concern. “Are you alright?”

Sir Pentious glanced and said, “No need to worry, princess. Toulouse and his clones share a hive mind. This happens whenever they share messages with each other.”

Toulouse began blinking again and shook his head vigorously. Austen did the same.

“Is there a problem?” Sir Pentious asked.

“No,” Toulouse replied nervously. “We’re here!”

The limo pulled into the courtyard of the manor, and the six demons exited the car.

Sir Pentious slithered to the door and opened it allowing everyone to walk in silently before he slithered in behind them.

“Well, Charlie, welcome to my home,” Sir Pentious said shutting the door behind him as he noticed a crowd of Egg Bois approaching them.

“Hey, boss!” the Egg Bois all said in unison. 

“Hello, Bois,” Sir Pentious replied. “Thryce, are there any new developments?”

“Uh, we have some problems, boss,” Thryce replied stepping out from the group. “Lucifer has taken back your territory, and so we’ve lost a good bit of your finances for future projects.”

“Dammit,” Sir Pentious said rubbing his brow in frustration. 

“Wait,” Charlie said suspiciously. “I thought you wanted to be rehabilitated.”

“I do,” Sir Pentious said covering his tracks. “But I still need to make money. At least, my businesses are still running...”

“Yeah…” Charlie said. “Anyway, where is Delilah?”

“Charlie!” Delilah squealed joyfully as she literally flew into Charlie’s arms. “Oh, Charlie! It’s been so long! I’ve missed you so much!”

“It’s only been a few months, Delilah,” Charlie said hugging Delilah back. “But you’re right. It has felt like forever.”

“How are you, dear?” Delilah asked finally letting go of her embrace to hold Charlie’s hands. 

“I should be asking you that, Delilah,” Charlie said in concern. “My Dad said he sold you. Why did he do that? What did he do to you?”

“You know how your father is, Charlie,” Delilah lied sadly. “I displeased him, so he took out his wrath by doing unspeakable things…”

“It’s my fault,” Charlie said with tears forming at the corner of her eyes. “He’s angry at me, so he’s taking it out on you.”

“No, dear,” Delilah said wiping the tears of her child from her eyes. “Don’t blame yourself. Remember what I’ve always told you. Your father hates goodness, and you’re too good for this place. It’s his problem, not yours. And to answer your question, I am doing better. Sir Pentious treats me very well. He let me make this outfit.”

Delilah posed in the black blouse and black skirt ensemble she presented to Sir Pentious the day before.

“Oh, Delilah,” Charlie said. “That outfit looks beautiful on you.”

Sir Pentious blushed deeply and looked away so that Delilah wouldn’t catch him staring.

“Anyway,” Sir Pentious interrupted. “We’re here because Charlie’s father broke her hotel’s elevator. I have fixed the mechanisms, but the elevator needs a new box and I have one that might fit the hotel’s measurements. Lucifer told Charlie about your new employment situation, so she wanted to visit to make sure you were being treated fairly.”

“That’s awfully good of you, Sir Pentious,” Delilah said with a smirk. 

“Yes, I know,” Sir Pentious said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

“Hold on,” Delilah said. “The Egg Bois have prepared a surprise for you.”

“What?” Sir Pentious asked as five of the Egg Bois arranged themselves in a line in front of him.

The four of them hummed in harmony to tune themselves for a moment before the first one began singing in acapella, “Congratulations, boss, on not focusing on your rep…”

“Swallowing your pride was the first step…” the second one sang.

“Now all you need to do to have a chance at redemption,” the third one sang.

“Is to let go of your unhealthy obsession…” the fourth one sang. 

“For a certain pale succubus…” the fifth one sang before Sir Pentious cut him off.

“OKAY, THAT’S ENOUGH!” Sir Pentious yelled as he signaled for his minions not to mention Charlie’s mother.

The Egg Bois nodded understanding his meaning as Delilah stood there with a stunned expression and Charlie applauded.

Sir Pentious clinched his teeth angrily as Charlie finished applauding and said, “I didn’t know you wrote poetry, Sir Pentious. You and your minions are so talented. Why don’t you let them finish?”

“There are some poems I never attended for anyone to read,” Sir Pentious said nervously. 

“Hey! Look, boss!” Toulouse said holding a cassette tape. “It looks like the other Egg Bois recorded a copy already…Hey!”

Sir Pentious snatched the cassette tape out of his hand, put it in his mouth, and bit it in half. 

“Alright, Bois, we’re here to deconstruct the elevator and move it to the Hazbin Hotel,” Sir Pentious yelled spreading his frill. “Anymore singing and you’ll get no dessert for two months! Now, get to work!”

All of the Egg Bois scrambled to get to work, except for Toulouse who was sweeping the broken cassette into a dust pan and one minion who lingered behind and began to sing, “For a certain pale…”

“GET OUT!” Sir Pentious yelled barely able to conceal his embarrassment as that minion rushed down the hall to catch up with the others.

“Sir Pentious?” Charlie asked confused at his sudden outburst of emotion.

“I apologize for that, your highness,” Sir Pentious said to Charlie before turning to Delilah. “Delilah, I don’t recall ever asking you to teach my minions how to sing acapella.”

“All the work in the house was done for the time being, so I thought I’d give them something else to do besides stare at me,” Delilah said with a smirk. “I told them to write a song congratulating him, but I didn’t think they’d write that. Though I did let them borrow your journal for inspiration…”

Sir Pentious facepalmed in frustration and said, “Fine, but in the future, I must ask that you not let them read my personal journals.”

“Fair enough,” Delilah replied.

“And speaking of the future, Delilah, Lucifer has taken back my territory cutting off many of my finances as a result,” Sir Pentious said crossing his arms. “So, your payment for the next quarter is going to be late.”

“Not to worry,” Delilah said with a smile. “I’ll be fine as long as I have a roof over my head and food to eat. Besides, your first payment is more than enough to keep me satisfied for the time being.” 

“Good,” Sir Pentious said turning away with Toulouse following close behind him. “We have to go make sure the Egg Bois don’t scratch up my elevator. You two ladies can make yourselves at home, but please stay out of my private quarters.”

Sir Pentious slithered away down the hall without waiting for a response.

As soon as Sir Pentious and Toulouse left, Delilah turned to Charlie and asked, “Charlie, dear, did Sir Pentious really offer to fix the elevator of his own volition? I have none him for only about a day, and I can tell that’s unlikely for him.”

“Well…” Charlie said nervously. “I may have kinda forced him…”

“Charlie, what did I tell you about forcing people to change?” Delilah chided with a raised eyebrow; a facial expression that always made Charlie rethink her actions when she was a child. 

“Delilah, he said some awful things about you,” Charlie replied. “He talked about wanting to do things to you as if you were still a prostitute. I couldn’t take it. Then when I yelled at him, Sir Pentious said he’d do anything to earn my forgiveness, so I took him up on his offer.”

“Oh, Charlie,” Delilah said with a smile as the pair began walking down the hall. “You have always been so protective of me and I appreciate that, but you know your emotions can get the better of you.”

“I know,” Charlie said anxiously stopping in front of Delilah. “But Delilah, tell me the truth. Has Sir Pentious hurt you at all? Please tell me.”

“Not at all,” Delilah replied. “Sir Pentious has hardly touched me since I arrived. Compared to your father, he’s been quite the gentleman.”

“Alright, but Delilah, you don’t have to stay here,” Charlie pleaded. “Why don’t you come live with me? Now that Dad has dismissed you, you don’t have to serve anyone anymore. You’ve had to endure so much for me. Please.”

Delilah looked at Charlie’s pleading eyes sadly longing to tell her the truth. She was the only person she hated lying to.

Delilah cupped Charlie’s face in her hands and said, “My dear, I would, but I have a debt to pay to Sir Pentious that I can’t escape. It would hurt you more if I tried to move in with you. Trust me. I’ll be fine.”

Delilah then gave Charlie a tender kiss on the cheek and let her embrace her in a tight hug.

“Remember, Charlie,” Delilah said rubbing Charlie’s back. “You must be strong now. Don’t let demons push you and tell you what you can or cannot do.”

“Okay…huh?” Charlie said just as she noticed the opening in Delilah’s blouse and saw the scratches between her wings.

In an instant, Charlie’s horns formed and her eyes turned red.

Delilah quickly noticed as Charlie let go and asked, “Charlie, what’s the matter? What’s wrong?”

Just then, Sir Pentious re-entered the hall with a messenger bag of blueprints and announced, “Alright, your majesty, Toulouse and I have gathered the blueprints and the Egg Bois are loading the parts for the elevator box into a trailer attached to the back of the limo now. We are ready to…”

The snake demon noticed Charlie’s angry form. Toulouse began backing away.

“Your highness?” Sir Pentious asked in a near panic. “What is the matter with…?”

Charlie snapped. In a second, she grabbed the snake demon by the tail and slammed him on the floor of the hallway.

In the next second, Sir Pentious wrapped his tail around Charlie’s legs to restrain her and yelled, “Your majesty, calm yourself! What is going on?!”

The Goat Bois rushed over from where they were hanging out by the front door and jumped on Sir Pentious to protect Charlie.

“Get off me!” Sir Pentious yelled tossing the minions off while trying to hold Charlie’s hands back from punching him.

“Leave our boss alone!” Toulouse begged in a panic.

“CHARLIE?!” Delilah yelled finally getting over her shock. “What has gotten into you?!”

“THIS SNAKE IS A GODDAMN LIAR!” Charlie shrieked with angry tears rolling down her cheek. “I SAW THE SCRATCHES ON YOUR BACK, DELILAH! I KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER HURT YOU!”

“NO, HE DIDN’T!” Delilah shrieked louder. “YOUR FATHER DID!”

“What?” Charlie asked reverting back to her original form and ceasing her wrestling match with Sir Pentious.

“Your father wanted to punish me for standing up to him when his demands were unreasonable,” Delilah said. “When I found out, I tried to run away. But he caught up with me, then he scratched me, beat me, and sold me to Sir Pentious.”

“It’s true,” Sir Pentious said nervously raising himself up from the ground. “He brought Delilah to my mansion and sold her to me in exchange for territory. When I saw Delilah and the shape she was in, I couldn’t say no. I hired her simply to look after my home. Nothing else. I promise.”

“Sir Pentious is telling the truth,” Delilah lied. “He has been good to me so far. He has not touched me once without my consent.”

“Oh, my God,” Charlie said embarrassedly backing away from the snake demon. “I am so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I thought that you had…”

“Don’t worry about it, Charlie,” Sir Pentious reassured. “Anyone could have made that mistake. Anyways, everything is ready for transport. We can return to the Hotel when you’re ready.”

“Okay,” Charlie said. “Let’s go.”

Charlie looked at Delilah sadly. 

Noticing her sadness, Sir Pentious thoughtfully turned to Delilah and asked, “Delilah, dear, would you like to join us? I’m sure you’d love to see the hotel you told me about.”

“Really?!” Delilah and Charlie both asked at once.

“Yes, of course,” Sir Pentious said. “You are not a slave here, Delilah. You are my employee. As long as you perform your duties here, you can see Charlie as often as you wish.”

Charlie’s lips curled in a large smile as she excitedly ran up to Sir Pentious, gave him a hug, and said, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I knew you had good in you! I just knew it! Oh…”

Charlie let go of Sir Pentious, awkwardly backed away, and said, “Sorry about that. Uh, let’s get back to the hotel…”

Charlie walked away with her Goat Bois following close behind her. Toulouse and Austen grinned at each other and followed Charlie back to the limo. The other Egg Bois followed after them to squeeze themselves into the trailer leaving Delilah alone with Sir Pentious.

“That was an awfully kind thing of you to do, Sir Pentious,” Delilah said with a smile.

“Don’t mention it,” Sir Pentious said in a huff. “I had to do something to get the princess off my back. I hope you’re happy. Now, you have a little more room to roam until Lucifer takes you as his wife.”

“Don’t try to hide it,” Delilah said with a grin as she headed for the door. “You did that out of the kindness of your heart.”

“I did not!” Sir Pentious retorted as he began slithering behind her.


	17. Chapter 17

Back at the hotel, Vaggie was pacing nervously around the hotel lobby waiting for Charlie running over all the paranoid scenarios in her head of what had happened to her. She didn’t even notice when Angel walked past her with Fat Nuggets following behind him.

“Hey, toots,” Angel greeted.

Vaggie, completely lost in thought, did not respond. 

Angel stopped in his tracks in surprise. Vaggie usually insulted him whenever she saw him. This wasn’t normal.

“Vaggie?” Angel asked. “Vaggie?”

Vaggie still didn’t respond, so Angel turned away with a shrug and sat himself at the bar in the back of the hotel to see Husk cleaning out a glass.

“Hey, handsome,” Angel said a flirtatious smile as he leaned towards him.

“Go fuck yourself,” Husk replied without missing a beat.

“Aw, why you gotta be like that?” Angel asked. “I just wanted to ask if you knew what was going on with Vaggie.”

Husk looked up to see Vaggie pace by and said, “No idea. She’s been pacing like that for the last hour.”

“That’s weird,” Angel replied. “Is Charlie back yet?”

“Nope,” Nifty replied popping up out of nowhere to wipe down the top of the bar before moving on to Husk’s side of the counter. “Charlie has been gone for 53 minutes and 26 seconds. Vaggie’s been pacing for just as long. She must be worried sick. Poor thing.”

“Whatever,” Husk said. “As long as she ain’t botherin’ me, I’m happy.”

“I’m not,” Angel said anxiously picking up Fat Nuggets and placing him on his lap. “Oh, God. I’m starting to get worried, too. Maybe I should have gone with her…”

“Gone with who?!” rang out the familiar voice of the Radio Demon.

Everyone turned around to see Alastor inexplicably standing in the lobby without anyone even having noticed him enter the hotel. 

Vaggie stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw him.

“Oh, Alastor, Charlie’s with Sir Pentious,” Nifty answered as she scuttled over to Alastor’s side. “King Lucifer broke the elevator, and Sir Pentious fixed it. But we still needed an elevator box, so Charlie went with Sir Pentious to pick up a new one.”

Alastor froze in place blinking for a second in shock before he replied, “What?”

“It’s true,” Vaggie said. “Charlie went with Sir Pentious to go pick up the elevator and they haven’t come back yet.”

“What?” Alastor said as his features contorted in confusion without his smile disappearing. “But why in the world would she ask for that pompous snake’s help?”

“Sir Pentious is a new patient,” Vaggie said causing Alastor’s expression to fall in surprise again without his smile fading. “He checked in yesterday.”

“You’re not serious,” Alastor replied. 

“Unfortunately, I am,” Vaggie said.

Alastor looked at Vaggie and walked towards her saying, “So, you mean to tell me that Charlie checked in that disgusting little serpent without consulting me?”

Vaggie, not intimidated at all by the gesture, replied, “The last time I checked, that wasn’t up to you. That was up to Charlie.”

“Well, all the same, I should have been notified,” Alastor said tapping Vaggie on the nose with his index finger to irritate her and heading towards the door before Vaggie could strike back. “Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to find Charlie and discuss this matter immediate-…SMACK!”

The door swung open hitting Alastor in the face and knocking him back against the wall behind the door before he teleported himself to the top of the door and sat there silently rubbing his bruised head.

“Hey, guys!” Toulouse said merrily running in as a large group of Egg Bois carried the elevator box into the lobby followed by Charlie, Sir Pentious, and Delilah. “We’re back with the elevator!” 

“Where do we go?” Austen asked from under the elevator. “This elevator is really heavy!”

“Oh, my goodness!” Nifty said scuttling to the head of the group. “Right this way, boys! I know exactly where to go! We need to head to the basement! Follow me!”

Nifty merrily scuttled ahead as the Egg Bois ran behind to follow her while the other occupants of the hotel stood there all feeling absolutely dumbfounded except for Vaggie. 

“Charlie!” Vaggie called out as she ran into her girlfriend’s arms. “Are you alright? I was so worried.”

“Oh, yeah,” Charlie said gesturing towards Delilah. “I’m fine. Look, Vaggie. It’s Delilah.”

“Nice to see you again,” Delilah said with a head nod as Sir Pentious slithered past them into the lobby. 

“Nice to see you, too,” Vaggie said before remembering what Alastor said and turning back to Charlie. “Oh, yeah. Charlie, Alastor wanted to talk to you about you know who.”

“Oh, okay,” Charlie said. “Where is he?”

“Right here, dear,” Alastor said hopping down from his perch and pushing the door shut from behind. “Charlie, what do you mean by letting that snake in here without notifying me?”

“My apologies, Alastor,” Charlie said nervously before taking a deep breath to help herself sound firmer. “But while you were away, Sir Pentious came to the hotel to check in as a patient, so we decided to let him in as a new patient.”

“Charlie,” Alastor replied with a low, quiet voice to let her know he was serious. “Need I remind you that this snake tried to destroy your hotel only two days ago.”

“I’m right here, you inconsiderate kiss-ass,” Sir Pentious said crossing his arms and looking into Alastor’s eyes angrily. “And if you must know, I was targeting you and Angel Dust, not the hotel.”

“Well, you changed your mind rather quickly, Sir Pentious,” Alastor said with a suspicious smile. “Why might that be?”

“After your beating, I realized that trying to take over Hell was useless, so I wanted to do something else with my time instead,” Sir Pentious replied as confidently as he could muster having rehearsed this sentence in his head and out loud when alone for this very reason. 

“And what led you to make such a drastic decision in such a short amount of time?” Alastor asked leaning his face uncomfortably close to Sir Pentious’.

Sir Pentious froze in distress. He had not planned on this question.

“Being a bit unfair, don’t you think?” Delilah asked. 

Alastor turned his attention to Delilah who was standing confidently next to Charlie.

“Yeah,” Charlie said backing Delilah up. “Sir Pentious has made huge mistakes, but he has made a lot of progress in the past few days. He sold his territory back to my father. He has been kind to his minions. And, he’s even helping us out with elevator repairs.”

“Not to mention, he gave me a job,” Delilah said defensively.

“Oh,” Alastor said. “That is interesting. And young lady, who might you be?”

“I am no young woman,” Delilah replied with a flip of her short, black hair. “I am at least 3,000 years older than you. My name is Delilah.”

Alastor’s eyes widened in surprise as he said, “Delilah? The Delilah? Why, there’s no way you could possibly be that prostitute from the biblical book of Judges.”

“The very one,” Delilah replied with a sigh. “And you’re the Radio Demon?”

“Why, yes,” Alastor said narrowing his eyes at her. “Pleased to make your acquaintance. It is not often that I get to meet one of the few ancient survivors. What are you doing here if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Alastor, Delilah used to be my nanny,” Charlie replied trying to cut the awkward tension if only by a little bit. “She will be taking care of Sir Pentious’ house while he’s away.”

“Oh, well, isn’t that nice of you?” Alastor retorted somewhat sarcastically. “Will you be staying at the hotel, too?”

“I’ll be visiting,” Delilah replied leering confidently. “As often as Charlie wants. And hopefully, more.”

“Alastor,” Charlie said firmly. “Delilah is my friend. She can be here as much as she wants. Sir Pentious can too, so I’d appreciate it if you would stop trying to intimidate them. Right now.”

“Oh, well, in that case, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,” Alastor said completely changing his mood from threatening to welcoming as if the tension of the past few minutes had not happened.

“Thank you,” Sir Pentious said as he turned to Charlie and gestured with his head towards where the elevator was kept. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have work to do.”

Alastor allowed Sir Pentious, Vaggie, and Charlie to walk past, but he held his arm out in front of Delilah to prevent her from following behind them.

“Behave yourself, Sir Pentious,” Alastor said turning around and narrowing his eyes in a sinister manner. “I will be watching.”

“Whatever, stag,” Sir Pentious retorted with an eye roll.

Alastor waited until everyone had left before he turned back to Delilah with a gentler smile that Delilah responded to with an eye roll and crossed arms.

Delilah finally broke the silence.

“What is it?” Delilah asked. 

Unbeknownst to both of them, Angel sat still with Fat Nuggets in his lap and began to listen. Husk appreciated the silence and indifferently went about his work.

“There is something that I’m curious about that I was hoping you could enlighten me on,” Alastor said leisurely leaning on his cane and continuing when Delilah’s expression didn’t change. “Tell me. Can you explain our king’s erratic behavior? I heard from some little birds that there is trouble in the castle.”

Without changing the expression on her face, Delilah scoffed and said, “His daughter has rebelled against him. Of course, Lucifer has been more moody than usual. Contrary to popular belief, our dark lord has mood swings that make him more unpredictable than any other demon in all of hell. That’s hardly newsworthy.”

“Oh, but I disagree,” Alastor retorted. “Our king’s actions have been more erratic and bizarre than usual. He is planning something that threatens to mix up the power balance of hell, and you and I both know what that something is.”

“What does that matter?” Delilah replied allowing her lips to twist into a smirk. “Even if I knew anything, I’m bound by necessity to not tell anyone. You’re wasting your time on me.”

Delilah tried walking past Alastor only for him to step in front of her and say, “I must insist. You do know who I am. Do you not?”

Delilah rolled her eyes and said, “Yes. Yet another ambitious mortal who sold his soul to Lucifer or whoever else in exchange for unimaginable power who’s looking for a way to cancel his debt and become the most powerful demon of this pit destined to be destroyed either by God or one of the other ancient fallen watchers for not knowing their place?”

Alastor paused for a moment as Delilah stared him down with her lips curled into a condescending smile. 

“So, it is true what the Bible said about you,” Alastor said. “Your tongue is formidable enough to take down one of God’s judges. But you should know, despite the supernatural origins of our powers, I am no Samson.”

“No, you’re not,” Delilah said stepping around Alastor. “I trusted Samson.”

“Glad to see we see eye-to-eye,” Alastor said stepping in front of Delilah again. “All I want is you to do is answer a few simple questions, dear. I fail to see what the issue is. The king sold you, after forcing himself on you repeatedly from what I’ve heard and from what I’ve seen of the scratches on your back. You have no reason to stay loyal to him.”

“Are you always this charming, or did I catch you on a good day?” Delilah asked with a smirk. 

“You can continue to play this game if you wish, but I warn you now,” Alastor said as he froze and static started flying around him. “I always outlast my opponents. It would be better for you to cooperate.”

“You’re telling me to cooperate?” Delilah asked completely unphased as she unleashed the claws on her hands. “Ha. That's rich, child. You think that just because you've managed to beat out some of the older kingpins you can intimidate me? I know who you are. I know what game you want to play and how that might possibly involve my Charlie. So, let me tell you something, honey. I've seen demons more powerful than you fall by the wayside. You'd be surprised to know how much it has happened in almost 3,000 years. You'd be even more surprised to know what hand I've had in making that happen at the right price. I know you aren't the type to feel aroused, but I can still find a weakness. Believe me. So, whatever the fuck you do, don’t hurt my Charlie or I might just expose that weakness and force you to be the next kingpin to watch his kingpin fall.”

“Oh, ho ho,” Alastor chuckled. “If you don’t want to tell me what I want to know, I suppose I will have to use force.”

“You and I both know that’s not going to happen,” Delilah said standing her ground and staring Alastor down. “First of all, Charlie would never trust you again. Second of all, I’m not as weak as I look. I’ve gathered the essence of many powerful demons over the years. I’m quite strong, probably stronger than Samson was, but unlike you, I don’t flaunt it.”

Alastor chuckled again and said, “Didn’t Sir Pentious tell you what happened the last time he crossed me? I destroyed his toy in one snap.”

Alastor snapped his finger summoning his tentacles from the floor around Delilah grabbing her limbs, holding her in place, and tightening their grip around her.

But to his surprise, Delilah chuckled and said, “I’ve dealt with worse.”

Delilah claws grew outwards instantly impaling the tentacles. Then, once they had their grip, the claws began glowing a silvery light and absorbing the tentacles surrounding them causing them to quickly wither as if they were grapes drying into raisins. 

“What?!” Alastor shouted out in surprise as the claws absorbed the tentacles withered completely before his eyes.

As soon as the last of the withered tentacles let go, Delilah rubbed her belly and said, “Delicious.”

Alastor’s face fell in total shock and he asked, “How?”

Before Alastor could react anymore, Delilah allowed her claws to grow out until they impaled Alastor against the door. From the other side of the wall where the bar was in the lobby, Husk’s mouth fell open while Angel simply watched intently.

Alastor feebly regained his composure while Delilah stared him down with a sadistic smirk of her own.

“My dear, you are quite strong,” Alastor said with a chuckle that was stifled between coughs of blood. “I’ve never met another demon who could match me besides Lucifer. You are quite the treat. Please do tell me what you want to say. You have my attention.”

Delilah smiled and said, “I will have you know that I will kill to protect my Charlie if necessary. I could torture you until you’re begging to be exterminated so that you may be forced to rest for the fires of the Final Judgement, but that would hurt Charlie. She's moved my heart so much. I think God wants me to give her the chance to move yours. So, what do you say? Shall I let you continue to serve my Charlie without worrying about you trying to harm her or shall I continue feeding on your endless essence?”

Alastor sighed and said, “I suppose I must choose the former. Our exchange shall end for now. Now, I suggest you go follow your master before I change my mind. I won’t be caught by surprise so easily the next time.”

Delilah scoffed and said, “That’s what they all say, hon. Just remember. You’re no fallen angel.”

With that, Delilah retracted her claws from Alastor’s slender frame and waited for him to keel over onto the ground. 

“Glad we could come to an agreement, stag,” Delilah said with a smile before she merrily strutted away.

Alastor stood in place healing his bleeding chest and glaring after Delilah until she disappeared.

From the other side of the wall, Angel stared at Delilah with his mouth agape while Husk failed miserably to conceal his laughter.

Delilah smiled at them warmly before she entered the hallway that she saw Sir Pentious walk into. 

“And that’s why you don’t fuck with a succubus,” Husk said between chuckles of laughter.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know the formatting for this one sucks, but I'm too tired from all my computer problems to do anything about it. Sorry.

Meanwhile, the Egg Bois were passing the broken bits of the elevator up the ladder from the bottom of the shaft where the elevator had fallen.  
Toulouse was giving orders diligently while Charlie watched on feeling genuinely impressed at the Egg Bois' organization. She was honestly impressed with Sir Pentious' minions' skills and cooperation. These guys had managed to accomplish more work then she or anyone else had done in such a short amount of time. Despite their clumsiness, they were highly efficient.  
The work was going quickly until a voice called out of the elevator shaft.  
"Hey, Toulouse!" an Egg Boi in the shaft called out. "I think you need to look at this!"  
"What is it?" Toulouse called back.  
"I don't know! Just get down here!" the Egg Boi replied.  
"Okay, I'm coming!" Toulouse replied before turning to Charlie. "Will you please excuse me, princess? I have to help my clones."  
"Oh, don't worry about it," Charlie replied. "Just don't get yourself hurt. Angel has told me about how easily you die."  
"Oh, I can't die," Toulouse reassured her as the other Egg Bois moved aside to allow Toulouse to go down the ladder. "Every time I get hurt, I instantly heal and the piece of me that broke off makes another clone. The others become ghosts if they die since they're just familiars, but their dead bodies make more clones if you give them some time. That's why there are so many of me."  
Charlie and Vaggie looked at each feeling absolutely disturbed before Charlie regained her composure and managed to say, "That is…good to know, Toulouse."  
"Yep," Toulouse said flashing a large smile as he began descending the ladder. "I'll see you in a minute."  
Meanwhile, Sir Pentious was standing to the side looking at the blueprints for the elevator. This hotel's model was older than his. The elevator box fit, but the whole damn contraption ought to be replaced. His own model would be much more efficient.  
"Your majesty?" Sir Pentious asked. "Might I suggest replacing the elevator entirely? This model is quite old and I have a model that is much more efficient…"  
Vaggie snorted.  
"And what was that?" Sir Pentious asked showing his disgust.  
"I know what you're doing," Vaggie said stepping over to Sir Pentious and summoning her spear. "You're suggesting putting in a completely new model as a way to screw us over somehow."  
Sir Pentious scoffed in disbelief and said, "My lady, why in the hell would I do that?"  
"Vaggie…" Charlie said.  
"I know how contractors in hell work, Charlie," Vaggie spat back. "Unless you work for someone rich and prestigious, they will half-ass the whole thing and leave us in a worse position than before."  
"You have nothing to worry about then," Sir Pentious retorted. "Charlie is a princess. Besides her parents, she has the most prestige out of anyone in Hell. It would go against my honor as a gentleman to do anything to harm her."  
"See, Vaggie?" Charlie said trying to calm her girlfriend down. "Let's just give him a chance."  
"If you say so…" Vaggie said putting her spear down. "But I'm watching you, snake."  
"Whatever," Sir Pentious said rolling all his eyes at once. "Just please stay out of my way."  
"Hey, boss!" an Egg Boi called out from the hole. "Could you come down here please?!"  
Sir Pentious sighed dramatically and said, "Do I have to?"  
"But boss, Toulouse is down there," Thryce protested.  
"Oh," Sir Pentious said suddenly remembering. "Alright, I'll go down."  
"I knew Toulouse was his favorite," Thryce muttered to Austen while Sir Pentious slithered down the ladder.  
Sir Pentious slithered down the ladder as quickly and carefully as he could trying his best to avoid the debris and exposed wires of the shaft.  
"Toulouse?" Sir Pentious asked. "Toulouse, where are you?"  
"I'm over here, boss," Toulouse replied waving his flashlight around at the bottom of the shaft.  
Once he was clearly in his sight, Sir Pentious hopped off the ladder landing on the ground with a thud.  
Sir Pentious sighed in relief as he dusted off his coat and said, "Toulouse, what have I told you about being aware of your surroundings so that you don't get yourself in situations like this?"  
"Don't worry about that, patron," Toulouse replied. "Look what Joey found."  
Joey hopped around in place as he had that day when he was riding in the boss's death blimp, pointed at the wall, and said, "Yeah, boss! Look at this!"  
Sir Pentious looked at where Joey was pointing and saw a safe in the wall. It was small, the size of one of the Egg Bois. It was the jackpot Sir Pentious had been hoping to find.  
Sir Pentious smiled evilly and asked, "Toulouse, could you tell the Egg Bois to distract the princess for me?"  
"What do you want them to do, boss?" Toulouse asked.  
"I don't care," Sir Pentious replied. "Any kind that will keep them distracted. Better yet…"  
Sir Pentious picked up Joey, threw him up to the ladder, and continued, "…Joey, come up with a distraction that you and the Egg Bois can do to keep the princess and the others occupied until Toulouse and I exit the vault. Someone of your distractibility should have no problems coming up with ideas. Can you handle it?"  
"Yes, sir, Mr. Boss Man," Joey said climbing up the ladder.  
Joey climbed up to the top and ran over to where Charlie was standing and talking with Delilah and Vaggie.  
"Hey, guys!" Joey called out getting their attention. "Do you wanna hear a song?"  
Meanwhile back in the pit, Sir Pentious was holding in his arms while he used a stethoscope to open the safe's lock.  
"Are we in?" Sir Pentious asked impatiently.  
"Just about there…" Toulouse said just before the safe unlocked. "And we're in."  
The safe cracked open and Toulouse pulled open the door before Sir Pentious placed him on the ground to look inside.  
Sir Pentious was astonished to see a safe packed with gold. The snake demon picked up a gold brick to see an apple insignia imprinted on it.  
"Of course," Sir Pentious said taking a picture of the safe and its contents with his miniature camera gadget. "It makes sense that our king would stash his gold somewhere hard to get to."  
"Can I see it, boss?" Toulouse asked.  
Sir Pentious picked up a gold bar, handed it to Toulouse, and said, "Here, hide this in the work bag."  
"Are you going to examine it, Patron?" Toulouse asked curiously.  
"No," Sir Pentious said with a smile shutting the safe and scrambling the lock so that no one else would be able to tell they were there. "King Lucifer might want to see the gold for himself so I think it's best if we have one on standby. Besides, he may let us keep it as a reward after we're done with this whole mess. There are many machine parts I could purchase with this…"  
"Or you could pay for an expensive wedding," Toulouse added.  
"What was that?" Sir Pentious asked confusedly.  
"Nothing," Toulouse said climbing on his boss's back. "Let's go back to the top."  
"Right," Sir Pentious replied jumping to the ladder and anxiously trying to push Toulouse's comment out of his head so he wouldn't have to think about it. "I only hope that Joey and the others have managed to keep the princess and her associates occupied enough to not worry about our whereabouts."  
"I wouldn't worry, boss," Toulouse said as his patron continued climbing up the ladder. "Joey is the most easily distracted of all my clones. I am sure he has found something to distract everyone…"  
"Hush," Sir Pentious commanded as he stopped climbing.  
"What is it, boss?" Toulouse asked quietly focusing his hive mind.  
"There is something going on upstairs and I'm trying to listen to hear what it is," Sir Pentious replied. "It sounds like…"  
"Singing," Toulouse said opening his eyes.  
"What in the world are they…?" Sir Pentious paused as a terrible thought crossed his mind. "Oh, no…"  
Sir Pentious pushed his slithering into overdrive as he slithered up the anxiously praying that the song was not what he feared  
Unfortunately, as soon as he and Toulouse reached the top of the ladder, they heard the Egg Bois singing, "Every day that you think of her succulent vine is another day that you could spend becoming divine. Every day that you dream of holding her hand is a day you could be entering the Promised Land. You think it is your destiny to be her mate, but little did you know that it was far past too late…"  
Sir Pentious and Toulouse climbed back onto the ground floor and yelled, "No, stop that!"  
Sadly, the command fell on deaf ears as the transfixed patrons continued to listen to the Egg Bois sing, "Your desire for her body is like a flame, but you must know this love is a fruitless aim. You think it is the will of God to marry her when you could be seeking life beyond the barrier. You must continue to make your way not matter how much longing for her makes you gay…"  
"Shut up!" Sir Pentious yelled slithering across the room and interrupting the performance only to be frozen in place by Alastor.  
"What's the matter, Sir Pentious?" Alastor asked with a mocking smile. "This song is lovely."  
"Yeah, and these Egg Bois have great voices," Angel added.  
"Charlie, stop this!" Sir Pentious pleaded desperately to Charlie, who was standing there next to her girlfriend transfixed with her mouth hanging open. "Charlie! OW!"  
Alastor let Sir Pentious fall to the ground with a thump.  
"Shut it," Angel replied. "We wanna hear the singing."  
"No, Joey, I command you and the clones to stop," Sir Pentious commanded to his Egg Bois.  
"Okay, boss," Joey and the other Egg Bois said kinda sadly.  
"Nah ah, we wanna hear," Angel said with a chuckle. "It was so juicy."  
"I think we've heard enough of Sir Pentious's prose," Vaggie said since Charlie was still too stunned to speak. "We've heard 30 verses already."  
Sir Pentious's eyes flashed in a panic as he asked incredulously, "30 verses?! What did they sing?!"  
"You should know," Alastor said. "Your servants said their lyrics were based on your poems written about your unnamed secret love. Or should I say Queen Lilith?"  
Sir Pentious's face flushed in embarrassment as he noticed Charlie's stunned expression.  
"Do you want us to sing it again?" Joey asked.  
Before Sir Pentious had time to respond, Crymini gestured to her phone and said, "Don't bother. I got the whole thing on video."  
"You what?!" Sir Pentious yelled. "Delete that right now!"  
"No way," Crymini said with a smile. "Besides, I've already uploaded it to HellTube."  
"What?!" Sir Pentious, Charlie, Vaggie, and Delilah asked simultaneously.  
Angel started cracking up. Alastor did the same while Nifty tried her darndest to suppress a smile.  
"That's amazing," Angel said. "Does it have any views yet?"  
"Let me check," Crymini said looking at her phone. "Oh, shit! It's got 1000 views already."  
"Damn, 1000 views already?" Angel asked. "It hasn't even been 5 minutes."  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sir Pentious shrieked at the top of his lungs as he swiftly slithered down the hall with Toulouse still hanging onto his back.  
Delilah watched sympathetically resting her hand on Charlie's shoulder while Vaggie stewed next to her and the other demons laughed in the background.


End file.
